


Obsolete Rituals

by SugarHeart25



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec tried, Alternate Timeline, Blow Jobs, But Also Loving Service Top Alec, But Also Pushy Little Power Bottom Jace, Don't Like Don't Read, Dubious Consent, Frottage, I took canon and blended it on puree, I'll Tag To Spoil Later But For Now Mysterious Shit is Mysterious, I'm Not Ashamed, Jace Really Wants Alec To Be His New Master, Jace tried harder, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mostly cos they grew up without Jace, OH THE SEX, On BOTH SIDES, Poor Alec, Restraints, Size Kink, Slavery, Slightly Darker Izzy and Alec, Smut, This is going to be so tropey, You Have Been Warned, and not especially woke, broken Jace, but in the nice way, but not the shitty 50 shades kind, happy ending obviously, slight blood kink, the good kind!, the hold me down and choke me daddy kind, they say God and Christ sometimes because By The Angel sounds a bit weak
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:20:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29461896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarHeart25/pseuds/SugarHeart25
Summary: Alec and Izzy have grown up alone; hardened by danger, isolated by death, successful in their running of the New York Institute. When they interrupt a seemingly obsolete ritual, they rescue Jace; a fundamentally broken, but high functioning somewhat pushy blond, who's been a slave all his life. Alec removed his collar to heal him which apparently transfers ownership and extremely smutty disasters ensue as Jace works to prove his worth, Alec works to avoid the lowest rungs of hell and Izzy sighs as it all goes horribly, wonderfully wrong.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Comments: 69
Kudos: 319





	1. Lesson One: Don't Think With Your Cock OR Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I long ago promised Polarnacht I would return with something else to add to this ship and so here I am with what will be a short, obscenely tropey fic which ignores a lot of the more complex canon points and is really an excuse to explore the slavery dynamic between these two without apology. 
> 
> Also ⚠🔺WARNING!🔺⚠ Great big flashing neon warning right here because this is dubious consent (on both sides) so please dear GOD don't come reading this if you are triggered by any of those things or don't like slavery fics. This story will absolutely have a happy ending. When I said it wouldn't get "fixed after 3 chapters" I meant that there will be an ongoing struggle and all too often I see slavery get magically fixed like, right away. This is not a treatise on consent that I'm handing out as law, it's fanfiction and I write for people to enjoy. This is my disclaimer - you have absolutely been warned. 
> 
> Enjoy!

The ritual had been obsolete for well over a century, but people like that, Alexander Lightwood reflected grimly, simply did not care.

Zealots, extremists, fanatics and by his own judgement, some crazy-ass motherfuckers. They didn't care about the poor guy in the centre, naked and absolutely drenched in blood, his wrists and ankles bound atop a ginormous and frankly fucking _tacky_ pentagram, surrounded by candles and everything. They likely didn't give a shit about what demons they _accidentally_ called on down, curious creatures seeking out a warm body and probably had no clue how badly they’d fucked with the supernatural activity monitors, sufficient to draw Nephilim attention.

So when Alec fired an arrow right into the eye of the man who looked and pointed at him, he didn't exactly _care_ either.

Alec's sister, Isabelle Lightwood moved like water made vengeful mass under his cover. He took up a ranged position, covering her movement until she was in the centre of the _shithole_ place, right beneath where the leylines converged.

She cut them down, brilliant little _bitch_ , that was his sister and nobody better forget it. Used her whip to split faces in two and when they came at her, too close for the glittering plectrum to unfurl, she pulled out blades. Alec stowed his bow, taking out a sword and he too began to cut them down.

The Lightwood siblings always worked as a unit and they worked _alone_. It was better that way.

Mundanes they were, but they didn't go down _that_ much easier than your run of the mill _creature of the night_. They really, really wanted to complete the ritual.

'Get the guy!' Izzy yelled, jamming one of her dual blades into the throat of the nearest crazy woman, yanking it _down_ and essentially unzipping her. Alec whirled around, crafted momentum to cut someone in half as he did just that, went for the centre of the pentagram and cut loose the leather restraints, noticing immediately that the guy's wrists were _open._

'Fucking hell,' he snarled under his breath. There was no way the guy - early twenties, blond hair under all that blood maybe, pretty much unconscious by that point with a gaudy leather collar around his neck - could survive that much blood loss. Alec wiped his mouth, stepped back, about to call it, when his gaze travelled down his red, heavily obscured chest.

Something black and instantly familiar was there beneath the multiple layers of dried, congealed blood that set over his skin like lycra.

It was a _rune._

 _'_ He's Nephilim,' Alec muttered to himself, glancing over his shoulder as someone ran at him with an actual trident and, _aww_ , that was kind of _cute_ , almost. He swung his sword in a flat arc and used their own forward momentum to cut their head off. The remaining three had finally realised that the Lightwoods were not to be fucked with and had scampered down a nearby tunnel like rats.

Izzy approached, panting softly.

'Fuckers _have_ to stop getting these rituals from the internet,' she complained. 'Not saying it's not _fun,_ but, still.' She sobered joining him at the raised podium. 'Shit. He dead?'

Alec felt for a pulse which he found, albeit a weak one. 'No. And he's not a mundane. He's Nephilim.'

'What? Are you—?'

He pointed to the almost fully obscured rune. 'Help me heal him.'

Between the two of them, they managed to draw rune after rune; healing, blood replenishment, energy, stamina, restoration.

'They're barely doing anything,' Izzy muttered after a few minutes.

Alec looked down at the trough running beneath the _sacrifice's_ body; a system of lines running all around the edge of the circle and making up the lines of the star. In the centre, he lifted the guy's side enough to see under. There was a _hole_.

'They've been draining him for hours,' he said. 'Healing him up and then draining him again. Fuckers got off easy.'

'Can we help him?' she asked quietly, touching his arm. 'If we can't, I'll kill him quick. Slow death is no way for one of us to die.'

Frowning intensely, as was his natural wont, Alec Lightwood studied the body, the man no older than him. He was still not _completely_ unconscious yet. Alec couldn't help but thinking that he had a strong will to live.

Fuck it all to _hell_ and back.

'Let's take him,' he said, split decision taking root as the _Right Thing To Do,_ which usually mean shit-tonnes of trouble, but it was too late now.

'Back to the Institute?'

'No, to my place.'

His sister cut the rest of the restraints, cocking an eyebrow.

'Any reason why? It's _my_ Institute. What I say goes, no one will—'

'I know, I just…' Alec couldn't explain so he didn't. The guy's wrists were no longer bleeding, just _barely_ closed up, but he didn't seem exactly healed either. 'My place is closer, anyways. C'mon.'

*

Alec ended up doing the bulk of the carrying and the guy, he was no fucking lightweight so by the time they made it to the back entrance of his place, top floor of a loft in downtown New York City, he was sweating profusely, arms trembling.

He hefted the blood covered guy onto the sofa, as gently as he could, given that he felt like he was about to pass out. Fuck, he was doing more endurance training this summer, he really was. His lungs were _burning_.

'What do we do with him?' Isabella asked, staring doubtfully as his blood began to seep into the cushions. 'Neither of us know fuck all about Mundane first aid if his runes won't do shit.'

'His runes have kept him alive this long,' Alec said, kneeling beside him. 'Get some water and a few hand towels.'

'You get it, I've got an Institute to run!'

' _Izzy_.'

With a sigh, she went off and got what he'd asked for, throwing the hand towels in his face and dumping the water none too carefully on the nearby coffee table. Alec hated that fucking coffee table, gift from their _Mom_ , so that was fine but he did _not_ appreciate—

'What is this?' she asked, gesturing at his face with her index finger. 'This _look_?'

Alec dipped the towels in the water and began cleaning away the sticky blood set atop dried gore and what seemed like months of grime. 'What look?'

'This… I don't know, like you found a fuckin' puppy in the street, Alec. That look.' She glanced at the blond on Alec's admittedly not so great couch and glared mildly. 'We don't know anything about him, who he is or if any part of that piece of shit ritual _worked_!'

He threw his sister a look. 'None of it _worked_ , Isabelle. They fucking _Googled_ it.'

'Alec,' she said seriously. 'They knew enough to draw runes, they must have had _someone_ who could do that.'

'Maybe he can help us figure out who they were, or _are_ , seeing as how three ran for it.'

Izzy pinched the bridge of her nose while Alec wiped sticky, dried blood from the cheek of the now unconscious young man.

'I just want to be _real_ clear,' she said. 'That this is _your_ pet. I'm not cleaning up after him, I'm not helping you care for him or whatever the fuck. We run the New York Institute!'

' _You_ run the Institute. I help.'

'You run it by my side and everyone knows it. Fucking _Angel_ , this had better not be because he's hot!'

Alec blinked, frowning. 'Is he hot?'

Izzy left.

*

Alec's plan to wipe that blood off of him was both good and bad.

Good because, _yeah_ , who wanted to be covered in blood? Blood did this weird thing where it dried tight and pinched your skin. Blood clogged pores and contrary to certain _Hungarian myths_ about bathing in the shit, it was not good to be covered in it.

Bad because, _yeah_ , he was hot.

Alec began to see it, _objectively,_ as he cleaned his torso. Washing away layers of blood revealed a flat stomach, abdominal muscles trim and perfectly toned. Tactfully - he was the king of fucking tact - he'd also covered the pretty blond with a blanket once he'd given his lower half a very _brief_ wipe down. He removed the collar, awful fucking thing. Thick leather and beneath, the skin was sunken enough to know it had been worn for a very long time.

Towards the end, though, Alec wasn't doing much beyond simply _moving_ the blood around. The guy needed a shower or ten.

Abruptly, Alec felt ridiculous.

He sat back on his haunches and viciously scolded himself for bringing this well built, highly athletic person into his home and proceeding to wash him down with the world's least sexy sponge bath.

The apartment was chilly and Alec noticed the guy’s skin pebbling where the water had left him cold. He made to get up and turn on the heat when an arm reached out like judgement from the fucking Angel on high and grabbed his shoulder.

 _'GAH_!'

A pair of very wide, very mismatched eyes - one blue, one a lovely gold colour - latched right onto Alec.

At first neither of them said anything, just staring at one another in a kind of mutual horror. Alec felt very strongly that he should be the one to say actual _words,_ but it wasn't happening.

'Who are you?' blond guy asked eventually, his voice painfully hoarse. Probably, Alec reflected, from _screaming_.

If the kid could talk, so could he.

'I'm Alexander Lightwood,' he said in a much steadier tone than he'd thought himself capable of then. 'My sister and I rescued you from the uh, the ritual. I brought you here to… well, to help.'

The death-grip loosened somewhat and slowly, he began to sit up.

'Oh, maybe you shouldn't— no, yeah, by all means sit up, sure.'

'I'm sorry,' blondie said, sounded like he meant it. 'They were… it didn’t _work_ , right?'

'Did what work?'

'They were trying to…' he shuddered, looking down at his recently healed wrists, angry red scars remaining. 'Never mind.'

After a few beats, he looked up slowly, warily. 'Are you a Shadowhunter?'

'Am I… yes, although we don't really go by that term much, if I'm being honest. There's something really _pedestrian_ about it that I can't—'

The blond went rigid, as if only just realising something important. 'Did you remove my collar?' he blurted out, suddenly feeling about his throat, eyes going, if possible, even wider. He actually seemed to pale a little more too.

'I did,' Alec said, feeling that he was on firmer ground there, at least. 'But if you uh, want to put it back, it's right there.'

The guy who sat with a blanket dipping precariously low about his hips on Alec's likely ruined couch looked at the collar and then back again. Alec couldn't tell if he was terrified or thrilled.

What he _was not_ expecting, was for the guy to fall onto his knees, head lowered reverently.

'Master, I apologise for my conduct,' he said immediately, still hoarse, still in that _kind of nice_ voice, but now unmistakably deferential, _submissive_ and oddly formal. 'I did not know, please forgive me.'

Alec shuffled back, uncomfortably aware that the blanket had fallen way away by this point.

'No, no,' he said, almost cheerfully. 'No, I'm Alec. Alexander Lightwood, like I said, not _master_. I saved you from there.'

'Master Lightwood, I apologise again and I am,' he took a swift breath. Alec noticed that it trembled. 'So, so grateful for my new ownership.'

He said this all while bowed like a… a fucking _slave_ or something. Alec's horror was only outshone by his hatred for those who'd done this to the blond.

'No need to apologise,' he said firmly. 'Look, why don't you tell me your name?'

'Jonathan Christopher Herondale, Master, that is my full name, but I was often called _Jace_. Forgive me if that is impertinent.'

Alec was having his first migraine.

'All right,' he said, determined to keep his tone light. 'All right, Jace, I'm going to make some coffee. Would you like to—?'

'Yes, Master, I would love to be of assistance,' Jace said before Alec could get a literal word in edgeways. He shot up, far more steady on his feet than Alec would have expected, and almost ran stark naked towards the kitchen.

Alec followed cautiously, his horribly false cheer still lingering in the vestiges of his expression.

'How about pants?' he offered.

Jace looked back. Under the harsh light of Alec's kitchen, he could see very clearly how _hurt_ this guy was. He could also see, despite all that, how fucking _gorgeous_ he was too.

'Of course,' Jace said, nodding enthusiastically.

Alec was about to celebrate and go in search of pants when Jace _dropped to his fucking knees_ there and then, deftly taking hold of Alec's belt. He got the thing open in less than a second, gazing up at Alec with a dangerous kind of expression; awed admiration and sinful desire.

Alec had protests, of course he did. Mean motherfucker with a bow and a sword, most definitely. Killer of bad people? Fuck, yes. But abuser? No sir, no fucking—

His cock was in Jace's mouth before he could start to form a sentence and either the kid (not a kid, he may have been _older_ than Alec in fact) was either an absolute pro or he had magical powers.

And his stupid, traitorous cock which had been unhelpfully at half-mast ever since the _oh so brief_ cleaning of Jace's lower regions, sprang fully to attention under the hot, wet, delicious assault of an eager mouth and tongue.

'Uh, n-no— _ohhh_ God in fucking heaven, shit!'

Jace took him deep without hesitation, he sucked him down until Alec's not inconsiderable cock _(he knew how to Google and measure, thank you very much)_ nudged at the back of Jace's throat and the pretty subservient blond simply _relaxed_ to take him _deeper_ , all the way to the hilt. The moaning sound he made _vibrated_ against Alec's cock and he made one in turn, not entirely sure what was happening even though he was.

The desire hit him like a fucking _fever_ , like a blood-born madness and it was crazy, completely crazy and oh, _oh_ , fuck, now he was sort of shallowly fucking Jace's mouth, his lovely lips all stretched around the spit-slicked width as it vanished in and out, tip pushing down into his _throat_ and then…

Oh no, now his hands were in Jace's hair _._

_This was very bad._

He _might_ have been embarrassed about coming in less than thirty seconds down the throat of someone he'd just saved from gruesome death, but as it was, he was relieved. His orgasm hit like a freight train, too big for his body, too big to contain and the _noises_ that came from him as he spilled into that clever mouth, each suck shallow now, lips and tongue caressing the head as it spurted, those noises were entirely new.

Alec returned to his body and untangled his fingers from Jace's bloody hair. Mismatched eyes were latched onto him, strangely expectant, almost _hopeful._

 _'_ Was that pleasing, Master?'

'Guh,' Alec said intelligently. His heart was pounding, body numb and tingly. He sort of _patted_ Jace gently on the head and stumbled back. Jace nuzzled into the touch, affectionate and strangely needy and Alec was a fucking _dumbass_ so he stroked him more, stroked him like he might stroke Church on one of the rare days that fluffy asshole was feeling generous.

Jace whined, eyes closed in bliss and he turned fully into Alec's palm, kissing the skin there, kissing his pulse point.

'Thank you for letting me serve you, Master.'

'Alec,' Alec corrected weakly.

Jace stood, kissing his hand again before nodding. 'Master Alec, of course. Thank you for correcting me. How do you take your coffee?'

Butt naked and bloody but pretty God damned _perky_ for someone who'd been close to death less than an hour ago, Jace started bustling around in the kitchen.

Alec tucked himself away, flushing harder than ever before in his whole life. At twenty three, he'd had precisely six blow jobs from six guys, none of who had last names as far as Alec was concerned.

His seventh really _blew_ the other six out of the water.

'Um.'

Jace looked over, concern blossoming. 'Do you not want coffee, Master Alec? Can I please you some other way? Put my collar on again? Could I ask for the honour of you fucking me or would that be too soon? Maybe I could—'

'For the love of all that is good in the world, _stop!'_ Alec blurted out and Jace… oh no. Jace flinched, his gaze dropped immediately, shoulders hunching. Preparing for punishment, Alec knew.

Slavery was rare in the Shadow world, but it happened. It happened fucking everywhere and there was only one reason to call someone _master_ outside of the lovingly consensual bounds of the bedroom.

He felt instantly _awful_.

'Oh, Jace, no, I'm—I'm so sorry.'

Jace dropped to his knees again, poor guy was like a yo-yo. This time, he went almost entirely flat to the ground, forehead pressing to the tips of Alec's boots which… yeah, those had been in the _sewer_.

'Master Alec, please forgive me. I accept any punishment you deem necessary, I am unworthy and stupid, please teach me any way you see fit,' he begged and oh _God_ , but he sounded so broken up about it.

Alec crouched down, moving to his own knees to gently pull Jace uptight.

'Come on,' he urged as kindly as he could. 'Sit up, Jace.'

Jace did so without hesitation. His beautifully mismatched eyes frantically searched Alec's.

'Forgive me,' he whispered tearfully. 'I was a little dizzy still, I shouldn't have… done that?' he asked uncertainly, almost childlike and Alec felt the true breadth of what absolute scum he was for letting this happen.

'There is nothing to forgive,' Alec said firmly, stroking his face again because Jace had liked that and oh… oh he was _shaking_ , all over, head to toe. 'Please don't be scared, I won't hurt you.'

'I made you angry.'

'No, _no_. I'm angry at myself. Jace, you don't have to do this. You're free, OK? I free you. Completely. And I'll help you however you want, if you _do_ want that.'

Jace had gone almost translucent. 'Oh God,' he uttered, swaying a little. 'N-no, please. Please, Master Alec, don't discard me.'

Fucking hell in a handbasket.

'No discarding at all,' Alec tried. 'But I just want to make it clear I'm not…' he could tell how this was going to go over. 'Your Master.'

Jace started to cry.

'No, no, no, please don't cry!'

'I can be better, I promise, I'll do anything, _anything_ , if you give me another chance, I'll show you,' he sobbed, daring to touch Alec's face. 'I'll show you what I can give to my kind, beautiful, benevolent Master, _please_!'

'You don't need to do this, you-you can be _free!'_

 _'_ I want to be yours!'

'But you—'

'If I'm not yours, they'll reclaim me, they'll drag me back and I… please, please let me stay!'

'Of course you can stay, but—'

Jace crawled into Alec's lap and kissed him full on the lips; a deep, passionate thing, his strong, well-built arms around Alec's neck, their bodies flush.

'I can?' he panted into Alec's mouth, slightly grinding his hips against Alec's own, undeniable hardness there that had Alec's body rousing in renewed interest, despite the state of everything. 'I can stay? I'll be so good.'

'You don't have to be.'

'But I will!' he gasped, cheeks becoming flushed as he rubbed his naked cock against where Alec's own was gearing up for the sequel, even trapped beneath layers of fabric. 'I'll be _so_ good for you, Master Alec.'

'N-not your—'

Jace silenced him with a kiss. 'The best Master,' he breathed, licking into Alec's mouth, kissing him deeper than Alec had ever been kissed. 'I've never wanted anyone like you.'

Alec was so fucking _fucked_. 'Really?'

'Yes, God, you're incredible. Feel what you do to me, Master,' he panted harshly, gently taking Alec's hand and lowering it to rub roughly against the head of Jace's rock hard length, still grinding against the fabric of Alec's trousers. 'You make me wild with desire, Master Alec. I feel like I'd die without you.'

And some part of Alec that was _less_ cosmically stupid, acknowledged that this guy, this _kid_ Jace was most likely acting. Was it Oscar nomination level acting? Yes. Was it working? Obviously. But was any of it _real_?

'You're my world now,' Jace was gasping against Alec's mouth, hands around his neck, driving the rhythm and Alec was lost to it, he was ruined. His hands rested on Jace's hips, helpless and _hard_ again. 'You're my everything. I'd die for you, I'd do anything you asked of me, I'd kill anyone you told me to, even myself. Feel my heart, Master Alec, it's all for you. Only for you!'

Alec's restraint gave out in spectacular fashion and _later_ , he might slightly regret taking Jace's face and kissing all the breath from his lungs, plundering his mouth and thrusting up, moving the blond's hips to drag and grind him _harder_ over his greedy, desperate cock trapped beneath _annoying_ pants, but in the now, the blissful, beautiful now, this was all that mattered.

'Come for me, Master,' Jace whispered in a voice like sin wrapped in satin, too much for Alec to bear. 'Come for me, my Alec.'

Alec came so hard he saw stars and in those stars, there was trouble, writ large.

*


	2. Lesson Two: You Can Apparently Fuck Up WHILE Making Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the encouragement!

After coming in his pants like a horny pre-teen, Alec decided to take action. He stood Jace up, uncomfortably aware of the blond's sticky spend on his own shirt, _painfully_ unable to ignore how naked Jace was. It felt uneven, it felt _wrong_ and by the motherfucking Angel, it _was_ wrong.

'Thank you,' Jace said, staring adoringly into Alec's eyes even as the black haired man stood him upright, keeping distance between them with his hands on strong, well worked shoulders. Jace was solid and sturdy, though Alec would like to see his stomach a little less concave, see his beautiful face rounded out with a few good meals. 'Thank you so much.'

'That's—no.'

Jace's expression saddened. _'Not_ thank you?'

Alec took a very deep breath, the kind of thing he might do when surrounded by a horde of demons who _really_ wanted to eat his flesh. He would have to be careful, think before every word.

'I shouldn't have done that to you,' he said slowly and deliberately, all the while rubbing his thumbs over the bones of Jace's shoulders for comfort.

'I… did something wrong?'

' _I_ did something wrong, not you. You're… wonderful and lovely and you can stay here with me, that's not going to change, but you don't need to do anything in return and I, God, I should not have let that happen because you're…'

He trailed off entirely then, aware of those pretty eyes locked onto him, likely awaiting an answer.

'I'm what, Master Alec?'

'You know what? I don't know,' Alec went with pleasantly, forcing a smile. 'I don't know anything about you, do I?'

Jace seemed relieved. 'Ask anything of me, Master Alec, I'll explain everything to you, of course.'

'And I'd like to get to know you,' Alec said, kind but firm. 'Once you've had a shower and are maybe wearing some clothes.'

Oh, there went the sadness again. 'You don't want to look at me, Master Alec?'

'Can you—is it all right not to call me that?'

Jace worried his bottom lip, gaze dropping low again. 'It's a… point of pride to-to have a Master like you, I've never—in the past it's only ever been—'

'OK,' Alec said swiftly, stroking his shoulders, smiling again. 'No problem, yeah? The shower is right through there, see? I'll find some clothes you might like and bring in fresh towels too.'

_'Your_ clothes?' Jace asked in a quiet voice.

'Oh, well, it doesn't have to—'

'I'd like that, please,' the blond blurted out, gaze still low as if unsure of his place. 'If that sits well with you, I'd like to wear your clothes.'

'No problem,' Alec said bracingly, still smiling like an idiot because otherwise he was going to plummet head first into a mental breakdown. 'No problem _at all_ , so yeah. Shower's in there.'

He pointed down the hall to the room opposite his bedroom. Jace looked behind him and back again, tiny frown of increasing concern between his eyes.

Alec suppressed a sigh. 'I'll show you.'

*

Jace didn't seem to know how to shower and he looked at the glass doors, the rectangular shape as Alec helpfully showed him how to turn the water _on_ and _off_ , like he was about to be murdered.

'How can you not know how to shower?' Alec asked, mostly to himself.

'I'm s-sorry, Master Alec,' Jace said, cheeks and ears red with obvious shame, his jaw working. 'I'll try, of course. I'm s-sure I can—'

Alec touched his shoulder, felt him shaking again.

'No, don't worry. You know what? How about a bath?'

Jace nodded slowly. 'I know how to bathe, Master Alec. Thank you.'

'Great!' Alec said with way too much enthusiasm. 'Fantastic, amazing. I'll run you a nice, shallow, not too hot bath, yeah? You want bubbles? You probably don't want bubbles.' He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling like he'd stood up way too fast.

Jace, it turned out, had not been lying when he said he knew how to bathe and Alec thanked the Angel and every God in existence for small favours. He set Jace up with sponges and body wash, shampoo and even more hand-towels and he left the bathroom door open too. Went into the kitchen, snatching a cushion from his mostly ruined sofa on the way and in the kitchen, he screamed into it.

'Everything OK?' he called out when he emerged from his screaming fit, voice jarringly cheery.

'Yes, Master Alec.'

He pitched his eyes skyward, wishing he could get Jace to _stop_ calling him that. Then he made coffee. He made one for Jace too, made some sandwiches as well, made a lot more than he meant to but it was nice, the repetitive motion, simple pleasing outcome of meat and cheese filled triangles. He stripped the couch of the damp bloodied cushion covers and threw them into the laundry basket, chucked his last good blanket over the thing and hoped that would do for now. Later, he'd order shit from that weird yellow app Izzy liked so much with the big A.

The gentle, tentative hand on his shoulder almost caused his skeleton to make a break for fucking freedom from his skin but he didn't yell and that was important.

'H-hi!' he greeted brightly, turning towards the blond.

Jace was wearing one of his more comfortable faded tees, the kind he would sleep in, with a pair of soft, baggy joggers and thick socks. His hair was damp but not dripping and he was clean all over, no trace of drying blood, no overwhelming smell of sweat soaked fear, no sticky residue of his come splatter. He was clean and fresh, grime free and…

Fuck, he was _stunning_.

Alec's breath caught in his chest.

Jace watched him carefully, lovely eyes studying every part of Alec like he was speed reading a book written across Alec's features.

'I made you coffee and uh, a few sandwiches,' he said, glancing at the pile he'd made. 'If you're hungry.'

Jace smiled softly. 'Thank you, Master Alec. Your kindness is overwhelming.’ There was something just a tiny bit formal when he spoke like that, when he _called_ him that. Light hint of something almost British. When he’d awoken earlier, his accent had been plainly American, though absent of the more typical Brooklyn affectation that Alec and Izzy both had, especially when angry. It still slipped into his more relaxed American now and then, but when he was focused, Alec realised, Jace addressed him more formally and so his accent changed too. ‘I am lucky and grateful to have you for my Master.'

Formal and a little bit _desperate_.

'Let's go sit down,' Alec suggested in place of saying the million other things he wanted to. He took the veritable snack platter and set it down on the table, hurrying back for the two coffees.

Jace, of course, knelt beside the couch.

Alec mentally counted to five. 'Sit with me?' he asked with a pleasant airiness that was running real fucking low.

Jace seemed to be internally debating back and forth.

'I would really love you to sit on the couch with me.'

That seemed to swing it.

Alec sat at one end, Jace at the other.

'So,' Alec said, after taking a big, hot gulp of his coffee, ignoring the way it scalded his tongue. 'Tell me about yourself.'

Jace nodded, eyeing the sandwiches once before focusing on Alec.

'My name is Jonathan Christopher Herondale. I… don't know when I was born or how old I am. I don't know who my parents are, or were. I don't have siblings. I've always been alone, but for my Mas—my _previous_ Master. I'm a slave.'

This was going fucking _great_.

Jace paused there, waiting to see if Alec had anything to add and when he didn't, he continued, carefully, feeling his way with each word.

'Some time ago, my previous Master was killed and his… the people who supported him have been um,' he frowned, slowly but very intently scratching his inner wrist. 'Using me to try and bring him back from the dead.'

'For how long?'

Jace considered, throat bobbing slightly. 'I think for almost a year, but it was very hard to keep track. They've been moving me around, healing me back up between attempts, retraining me where necessary.' He said that last part like he hadn't meant to, gaze dropping low, swallowing fully that time. 'Sometimes I'm… I need retraining.'

Alec bit his tongue very hard. 'Go on,' he said gently.

'I've been trained in _all_ areas,' he added, a little stronger. 'And I can—I will be the best slave for you, I swear it, Master Alec. Whatever you need, I'll give you.'

'That's…. very sweet of you, Jace. Can you tell me about the collar?'

Jace looked over his shoulder to the corner where the leather monstrosity sat. 'Yes, of course. My Mas— _former_ Master had me collared as a sign of ownership. He would sometimes offer me to anyone who could remove the collar when I would… when I would fight, Master Alec.'

'Fight?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Please, don't call me sir.'

'Oh, I'm so sorry.'

'No need to be sorry, that just uh,' Alec tried to laugh but it came out a bit strangled. 'Reminds me of my Dad, is all. Please, go on.'

'I was trained to fight,' Jace said. 'To protect my Master, but also to demonstrate certain things to his followers. Sometimes as a reward, he would let me kill the disloyal.'

'Right,' Alec said weakly. 'Right, I see.'

'I'm very well trained, Master Alec,' he insisted. 'I know if you just give me a little time to adjust, I will be everything you wanted and more.'

'You don't have to be anything you don't want to be.'

'I want to be yours.'

Alec sighed, rubbing his eyes. 'Tell me more about your daily life,' he asked, even though he knew he would regret asking.

'Before my former Master was killed, my day would consist of household chores, training, pleasuring him and seeing to any other needs he had. Sometimes he would take me out. Once he let me see the big bridge with all the lights.'

'The Brooklyn bridge?'

'I think he called it that, yes.'

'Then he lived… in New York?'

'Yes, Master Alec.'

'And these people, they want to use you to bring him back to life?'

'They've been trying for a long time. They removed my collar when he… when he was killed and then put it back on. They owned me and I couldn't do anything about that, so I had to let them… bleed me.'

'That will never happen again,' Alec promised him sternly. 'I swear it.'

Jace nodded once, looked down at his wrists, red and irritated from his scratching. 'Thank you.’

'So, this other guy who owned you, was he Nephilim too?'

'He was, Master Alec.'

Suspicion curled through Alec then. 'Jace, was your Master a man named Valentine Morgenstern?'

All the blood drained out of his already pale face.

'I…I…'

'I'm sorry,' Alec said in a rush, cursing himself. 'I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.' Tears ran down Jace's numb, frozen face, bottom lip trembling. Alec scooted closer, opening his arms. 'I'm so sorry, Jace. Shit, I'm in idiot, I really am.'

'N-no, Master Alec, y-you're not—'

'Shhhh,' Alec whispered soothingly, rubbing his back, holding him fast, stroking his hair. 'It's OK, I swear it. You're safe. I'll keep you safe.'

Jace clambered deftly into Alec's lap, wrapping himself around Alec like a needy, sad octopus. 'I don't deserve you, Master,' he gasped, clinging hard. 'I don't deserve someone like you, but I'm so grateful and I'll be so good for you, you'll see.'

Gently, Alec drew back and brushed away Jace's tears.

'You don't have to be good,' he told him. 'You're already perfect. I'm going to keep you safe from them. I'll kill every last one of them and then you…' _can be free_ , he did not say. 'Can do whatever you want.'

'I want to stay with you.'

'Then that's what you'll do. It's your choice.'

Jace didn't seem to like that word, so he kissed Alec instead. It was lighter that time, slow and hot, passionate warmth and trembling need running through it that made Alec dizzy.

'I choose you,' he breathed, pressing smaller kisses all around Alec's mouth. 'I choose you, Master Alec.'

Alec was _fucked_.

He stroked Jace's hair back, trying to get his bearings.

'So um. The _Master_ thing.'

'I can try,' Jace said, seeming pained. 'If you want me to, I'll try not to say it, but I… don't know if I'll be able to succeed.'

'Does it feel good, calling me that?'

'Yes,' he answered in a breathy rush, biting his bottom lip into his mouth. 'Yes, I love it.'

Alec wished that didn't affect him quite so much.

'All right, well. We need to uh, establish a few ground rules,' he said, nodding to himself, a motion which Jace copied eagerly, his fingers playing with the hair at the nape of Alec's neck.

'Yes, rules are good, Master Alec.'

'Rule number one: don't do anything you don't want to.'

Jace answered quickly. 'Yes, Master Alec.'

'Do you understand what that means?'

'Yes.'

Alec rubbed his neck. 'Can you explain it to me?'

'It means… not doing anything I don't want to,' he said slowly, only a _tiny_ bit wary, like it was a trick question.

'So, if I asked you to, say, hop on one foot and you didn't want to do that, you wouldn't do it?'

'I _would_ want to do it,' Jace told him. 'Because you asked me. I want to do whatever you want, Master Alec. I want what you want.'

Alec screwed his eyes tight. 'No, that's…'

'Not right?'

'It's… fuck, for now, can you promise me that if anything frightens you, upsets you, makes you uncomfortable or unhappy, you'll _tell_ me?'

He seemed to be considering that, at least. 'Yes, Master Alec,' he said slowly. 'I will tell you those things. My former Master also liked it if I… told him when it hurt.'

'Nope,' Alec said, wishing he had a fucking _time machine_ , even though he knew he could never, ever leave Jace to suffer that horrific fate, but _still_. 'No, _not_ for gross reasons like that. Jace, I want to take care of you. I want you to be happy.'

'I am happy.'

'Yes, and I _want_ that to continue. So,' he took a deep breath. 'Please help me to make you happy. You want what I want, right?'

'Yes, Master Alec.'

'Then help me, by always telling me if you're experiencing anything _bad_. I want…' he paused, knowing that what he said next meant he was going to fucking _hell,_ but that ticket had likely been bought and paid for anyway. 'I want _my_ Jace to be happy and healthy and safe.'

Dark pupils in mesmerically mismatched eyes blew wide as Jace sucked in a little breath.

'I'm yours?'

'If you want that.'

'I do,' he insisted, sliding his fingers into Alec's hair, pushing up slightly on his knees so he was higher than Alec, rubbing their noses together. 'I want to be yours, Master Alec.'

'Then you swear you'll always tell me if you're in pain, or afraid?'

'I swear it to you, Master Alec. Your Jace will always be honest with you, will always be perfect for you.'

'All right, that's g-great.’ Alec waited it out, let Jace lick his bottom lip and play with his hair until he settled, leaning back, fingertips following the outline of Alec’s neck rune. ‘OK, Rule number two: ask for anything you need or want, never suffer in silence.'

Jace looked off to the side, considering.

'That will take me a little while to learn, but of course I will do my very best for you, Master Alec.'

'You could start that now,' Alec suggested gently, nodding at the sandwiches behind them. 'Is there anything you'd like, Jace?'

Jace's gaze turned liquid heat. 'Yes, Master Alec.'

'Excellent, I made a whole variety of—'

'I want you to own my body, I want very much for you to take me and claim me, to bite my neck and fuck all your ownership deep inside me, Master.'

'—sandwiches,' Alec finished lamely, feeling like he'd missed a step.

'It's all right that I asked?' Jace checked, still a little wary and he was _searching_ Alec again, reading him.

'Yes, of course it's—just, I'm a bit tired and… we need to talk about that first.'

'About… sex.'

'Yes, about sex.' Alec prepared himself for a horrible, long, but deeply necessary speech about consent and how Jace didn't have to do _anything_ like that. 'Jace, sex between consenting—'

'I love you, Alec,' Jace declared intently. 'I love you so, so much and I want nothing more than to be yours. Forgive my forwardness before, forgive me, but I can't help wanting you as I do. I love you.'

Fucking. _Christ_.

'Jace,' he said, as softly as he could. 'You don't love me.'

Oh, it was like kicking a puppy. 'You doubt me?'

'No, I—fuck, I just… you don't know me,' he tried.

'I _do_ know you,' Jace said instantly, far too quickly for Alec's liking. 'I know your name is Alexander Lightwood, that you prefer Alec, you like coffee and you live alone here in a place with a shower and a bath and you have blue eyes. You're kind and strong and you're a Nephilim like me. You fight with a bow, but you can also use a sword and you're a good man. You're a good man and I will follow you to the end of the earth, if you'll give me a chance to prove to you that I love you, that I can be worthy of you.'

Alec tried to let that sink in, he really did. A few things had stuck out, notably that Jace seemed to know when to drop the _Master_ to better reach Alec emotionally.

He _wanted_ Alec to be his Master and the reasons for that were really quite obvious. That from Jace's purview, it was Alec or the people who'd bled him near dry for months. Who'd hurt him and tortured him.

'I like when you call me Alec.'

Jace's gaze flickered down for a split second. 'I know you do.'

'You're good at reading people, aren't you?' he said, brushing Jace's hair back where it had fallen into his eyes. It was quite a bit longer on one side, the other side shaved above his ear, faded up. Even in the low light of that dim lamp, Alec could see how golden it was.

'I—yes, Master Alec.'

'You really want to stay with me?'

'More than anything.'

'Then of course you can. But for now, let's put a pin in the whole _sex_ thing, yeah? I need some sleep and then possibly to let my sister punch me a couple of times.'

Jace frowned. 'I don't want your sister to punch you.'

Alec chuckled, though he didn't really feel any genuine humour. 'It's for the best, believe me. Are you tired, Jace?'

'I could sleep, if it was near you, Alec.'

And again, dropping the title, making it personal, that was clever, made it easier to forget all the worst of their situation. 

The kid was smart.

But he was also very, very broken.

And Alec was fucking exhausted.

'OK, let's go to bed, to _sleep_ ,' he added, gently lifting Jace off of him. The blond followed a foot behind as Alec padded to bed, not bothering to shower, he was that tired.

He pulled back the quilt, stripped off completely and yanked on a pair of fresh boxers. The sheets were cool and clean when he slid in, opening the covers and holding them that way, offering Jace inside.

Jace hesitated at the foot of the bed, like he wasn't expecting that.

'Just to sleep,' Alec reminded him, suppressing a yawn. 'C'mon, it's cold.'

Jace crawled up the bed and burrowed quickly into the covers as if Alec would change his mind at any given second. Alec lay on his back and Jace snuggled tightly against him, laying on his arm, face pressed into his side. It was… shockingly comfortable and Jace was warm, his weight somehow reassuring.

Alec kissed his hair, stroked his skin and told himself that he would make this all fine somehow, that tomorrow, the answer would present itself and all would be right in the world.

'I love you, Master Alec,' Jace whispered against his skin.

Alec pretended not to hear it.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed me a comment if you liked!


	3. Lesson Three: Sometimes It's Better NOT To Ask

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone for all your feedback and commentary, I really appreciate it. 
> 
> I will also quickly reiterate a few things, entirely my fault for not putting disclaimer warnings at the start. This is a fic where I have no intention of leaving it without a WELL EARNED, much evolved happy ending, but also there are enormous dubious consent issues all over the place, on both sides. For anyone triggered by this kind of thing, please don't read. I will be going hard exploring this exact dynamic that I've so far written and doing so without a care because you've been warned and it's fanfic. It's free. Don't like, don't read, it's so simple. 
> 
> To everyone who has been kind, this early update is for yooou!

Alec knew instantly that it had _not_ been a dream.

He also knew he should be way, way _more_ disappointed about that.

At some point in the night, Jace had arranged himself halfway over Alec and then _clung_. He was like a warm little creature, soft and gentle, but going absolutely nowhere.

When Alec awoke, it was with a pretty blond _slave_ draped over him, golden hair tickling his chin, Jace's fingertips drawing swirls into his skin. He shifted, regretting it instantly because it only served to remind him just how _fully_ Jace was atop him, their thighs almost fully aligned, cocks pretty much flush.

Not once, in his entire existence had Alec woken up with someone else in his bed. Morning wood was usually no issue because he was _alone_.

'Morning,' he rumbled. Jace turned and looked up.

Alec had almost forgotten how beautiful he was. It didn't help.

'Morning, Master Alec,' he purred, twisting lithely, crawling up Jace's body to bring their mouths together. 'I missed you.'

It was a warm, closed mouth kiss that left Alec forgetting how to breathe. Jace drew back just enough to settle himself atop Alec, straddling him with their chests pressed together.

'Can I please make you feel good?' he asked, watching Alec closely, minutely grinding his hips over Alec's, hard cocks rubbing just this side of perfectly even though it was only a tiny movement.

Alec gaped like a fish, eyes widening. 'I—maybe we—'

Jace smiled. Oh God, it was like the _sun_.

He then proceeded to shuffle expertly down, pushing the covers back as he lowered himself, trailing kisses over the middle plane of Alec's abdomen, over his lower stomach, down, down, _down_ until he was peeling back his underwear.

_'Ngh_ , you don’t have—'

Alec's eyes rolled back, crossed a little as Jace took his throbbing erection all the way in one deft swallow. Root to tip, he was engulfed in tight, wet heat. Jace's lips made the ridiculously perfect seal, forming pressure and he sucked him like he was made for it.

Just like last night, in the uncontrollable throes of ecstasy, his hand slid down to tangle gently in Jace's long, pretty hair and when he did, Jace moaned indecently, moaned like a _whore,_ and sucked him harder, faster, lips tight, throat relaxed, took his cock deeper and deeper. Alec's whole body was cramping, tightening like a trebuchet and when he began to loosely thrust his hips, Jace made another sound, this one was of deep approval and it resonated in Alec's _bones_.

Jace's hands planed up over Alec's body, seeking out his nipples. He rubbed over them lightly at first, sucking in perfect rhythm with the shallow thrusts of Alec's hips. Calloused fingers teased the sensitive skin and then they lightly pinched, pulled, _twisted_ and Alec made a sound he didn't know he could make, and came for the third time in less than twenty four hours.

He threw his free arm over his eyes, the other tangled helplessly in Jace's hair as his cock spasmed in the slave's talented, perfect mouth. Alec's mind was _flooded_ with the memories of everything Jace had said last night, about _loving him_ , about wanting to be owned and God, Alec was the worst person alive.

'You're the best,' Jace panted lightly, after licking his cock clean and pulling off with a teasing, pretty _pop_. 'The best Master, the best man. Thank you, so much.'

Alec kind of nodded and beneath the cover of his arm, he tried not to cry.

*

He showered thoroughly, maybe slapped himself a few times beneath the spray and then viciously towel dried himself before staring hard in the mirror.

Blue eyes stared back. Rune running up his neck, black hair and pale skin, he was the spitting image of his mother, except less bitter, he hoped. Less quietly furious at the world. He looked like Izzy, they were often mistaken for twins and Izzy was stunning, of course, but he was nowhere near as beautiful as Jace.

Jace, he thought somewhat hysterically, was the most beautiful thing he'd ever fucking clapped eyes on.

And three times now, he'd taken advantage of him.

'No more,' he promised the mirror, stern, if not as threatening as he would have liked. ' _No more!'_

*

Jace was wearing his clothes still and he was making breakfast when Alec emerged. It smelled good, toast and eggs with coffee. Jace had… well, he'd _cleaned_ up a bit, by the looks of things. Alec's insane amount of stale sandwiches were nowhere to be seen.

And Jace noticed right away that Alec was there, seemed keyed into his presence, and he turned swiftly, spatula in hand, bright smile in place.

'Master Alec.'

Oh God, there it was again.

'Hey, Jace. You didn't have to do all this, thank you.'

'My pleasure, of course.' Jace looked around, swallowing fractionally. 'I couldn't find a table.'

Alec blinked, pulling on socks over his jeans. 'Huh?'

'I couldn't find a table, Master Alec, I'm sorry.'

'I don't have a table,' Alec said, noticing that Jace had very cleverly avoided placing any blame on Alec for the lack of tables. 'I usually eat from my lap, like a barbarian.'

The joke fell pretty flat. Jace waited nervously. 'Shall I serve it to you while I sit in your lap, Master?'

Alec counted to ten and then he exhaled, smiled.

'No, thank you. How about we sit together and eat?'

Jace had not made himself a plate, but there was a kind of _communal_ plate for both the toast and eggs so Alec took heart from that.

'Serve yourself whatever you like,' he said to save time. 'And come and sit with me.'

Jace smiled, seeming relieved. Alec wondered if it was relief at the thought of eating or the fact that Alec had _sort of_ given him an order. Either way, he plated up a single fried egg, sunny side up, atop a single piece of toast. He sat with Alec on the couch which had seen better days.

Alec was genuinely hungry and so for the first few minutes, they ate quietly together. He sipped his coffee, made just how he liked and he ate the eggs and toast, beautifully cooked.

'Do you want some more?' he asked when Jace finished his pitiful amount, especially in comparison to what Alec had eaten. 'Please, eat however much your body wants. It would make me happy if you're not hungry.'

'I'm not hungry now,' Jace assured him. 'Thank you, Master Alec.'

Alec nodded, setting the plate aside. 'OK, can we talk some more?'

'Of course,' he said, but there was a small thread of panic in his tone. 'Master.'

There it was again, clever.

'Jace, I am going to do everything superhumanly possible to keep you safe and protect you from these people. I _swear_ to you, I won't toss you out, won't leave you to fend for yourself and whatever I can give you, that you _want_ , it's yours. But we need to stop doing things together.'

'Like sex,' Jace said, his gaze shuttering somewhat. 'You don't want to have sex with me.'

Alec nodded slowly. 'Jace, I've never really had a relationship,' he began, in what was a generous lie because ' _really'_ meant ' _ever'_. 'I've never had sex, not… actual sex. And that doesn't matter, what matters is—'

'You've never had sex?' Jace asked in a low, reverent whisper, eyes widening. 'Never?'

Alec paused, cheeks reddening. 'Well, yeah. And I'm not… I don't feel confident enough…' he shook his head. 'This is _not_ the point.'

Jace scooted closer. 'Oh, but I'll teach you, Master Alec. I'll show you everything, I'll make you feel _wonderful_ , you'll see!'

'I'm sure you would,' Alec said, patting his hand. 'But that can't happen. I'm going to protect you and keep you safe, but we can't do this again. It's wrong.'

'Why is it wrong?'

'It's wrong because you can't… give consent.'

'I can, I _do_ , I am!'

'Do you know what consent is?'

Jace nodded eagerly, pushing the long side of his blond hair behind his ear. 'Consent means agreement. It means, agree, give assent, it means yielding when one has the right, power or will to oppose. It's an old French word, _consentir_. Also, the Latin is made of two contractions; _con,_ together, and _sentire_ , to feel. Feel together.'

Alec stared. Kid didn't know what a shower was, but he knew Latin and Old French. 'All right, that's very impressive. I'm glad you understand and what you said at the start there, that's what I meant. Say it again, what it means?'

'To agree, to give assent, yielding when one has the right, power or will to oppose—'

'That's it, that right there. Yielding when you have the right, power and will to _oppose._ You understand that part?'

Jace nodded. 'I can only consent when it's my choice.'

'Yes!' Alec burst out, perhaps a little too loud judging by the way Jace flinched. 'You can only _consent_ when you have the choice and the right to say no.'

'Do I have the right to say no?'

'Yes, of course you do.'

'I have a choice?'

'Absolutely.'

'Then yes, I consent. I give my consent to you. I want to have sex with you, all the time and I want it because I can say no and make my own choices because you told me I can, because you're a wonderful, amazing man and I love you so much, Alec.'

It was exactly what Alec wanted to hear, especially with the _Master_ part missing. It was perfect. _Too_ perfect.

Alec held his gaze. 'Jace, what can I do to make you believe that I won't get rid of you?'

Jace's jaw worked a tiny bit. 'You could… put the collar back on me.'

Alec's stomach tightened. 'I can't do that, I'm sorry.'

'You could mark me.'

'What?'

'You could scar me,' Jace offered, undeniably _hopeful_. 'You could bite me or tattoo me. You could carve your name into—'

'No, _nope_ , please stop.' Alec took a breath. 'And I don't want to _own_ you, Jace. Not like that,' he added quickly when it looked like Jace was about to burst into tears. Scrambling, he looked down at his own wrist, the slightly faded material bracelet he wore that Izzy had brought him back from her disastrous holiday in Spain. It had three cow-shells sewn into the black braids. 'OK, um,' he said, untying the knot. 'What about this?'

He removed it and offered it to Jace.

'But it's _yours_.'

'And now it can be yours.'

Jace still seemed wary. 'I can wear it?'

'Yes.'

'As proof?'

'For whatever reason you like.'

It was still in his outstretched hand. Jace had yet to take it.

'Can you… that is, will you please put it on me, Master Alec, and tell me what it's for?'

Alec knew it had seemed too easy.

But that collar was going in the fucking trash and like hell was he carving Jace up so the bracelet was a compromise, of sorts. It looked innocent enough and Jace could take it off later, when this was all sorted and those fuckers were found and pulverised.

Jace held his arm out, palm up, something very much submissive about it.

'OK, sure,' Alec said, trying not to sigh. 'This bracelet is so you know you're safe and… mine.'

'No one else can have me?'

Alec swallowed. 'No one else can have you.'

'I'm yours, always?'

'As long as that's what you want.'

'I do want it, I give my consent from a place of power, right and choice,' Jace breathed as if reciting a fucking _catechism_ , but to Alec, it sounded like the small print of a contract. 'Yours, in all ways, Alexander Lightwood, for always.'

'Right then,' Alec said in a high voice, finishing tying the knot firmly. The bracelet was loose enough to get two fingers underneath, but it was strong and durable. Alec had killed many a creature or evildoer while wearing it. 'Do you feel better now?'

Jace smiled again. 'Yes, thank you Master Alec.'

'OK, more ground rules.' Jace nodded eagerly, his fingertips playing with the bracelet, stroking it and learning the feel of it. 'When we're in the presence of someone else, please don't call me Master.'

Jace blinked. 'That's… not what I expected, Master Alec.'

'What did you expect?'

'The opposite,' he said carefully. 'That you would _only_ want me to call you that in public and not…' he cleared his throat. 'Not here, not when we're alone. Are you ashamed of me?'

'No, absolutely not. I'm ashamed of _myself,_ Jace, and I'm ashamed of the people who did this to you.'

'Did what to me?'

Alec's eyes stung a little. 'For now, if you could try not to call me Master, in public or in front of anyone else, that would be really great.'

Jace nodded, but something else had caught his attention now.

'Will we be… going outside then, Master Alec?'

'Yes,' Alec said. 'I need to go to the Institute. We need to look into…' he gestured vaguely. 'All this.'

'Yes, Master Alec.'

'Are you—is that all right?'

'Of course.'

'Are you afraid of going outside?'

Jace shifted uncomfortably. 'A little. It hasn't happened often.'

'What kind of living conditions are you used to?'

'I've been inside most of my life. There's a room, where I trained, and the ceiling is glass. I saw the sun a lot from there, but I never went outside without my former Master and he preferred me hidden away.'

'Why?'

Jace's expression was carefully neutral. 'He said I was his secret weapon. That I was only to be used toward the end of his _plans_.'

'Valentine Morgenstern was found dead a year ago,' Alec said gently, watching carefully for evidence of overwhelming the blond. 'We'd been preparing to fight him, but he was discovered dead in a mansion outside of the city. Do you know how he died, Jace?'

The reaction had been gradually building and building, Jace's breath coming faster, a wild look about him then and he gripped Alec's bracelet hard.

'Y-you'll be well within your right to punish me,' he said quietly. 'Or even kill me, I don't know, but, yes Master Alec, I know how he died.'

'Can you tell me?'

Jace nodded, averting his gaze with undeniable fear. 'I killed him.'

*


	4. Lesson Four: Doors and Phones Are NOT To Be Ignored

'You _killed_ Valentine?'

Jace seemed to be expecting gruesome punishment, judging by the fine tremor running through him, by how rigidly he held himself. How he arranged his features into something neutral, how he hid his swallow, composed himself. It damn near broke Alec's heart.

'I did, yes.'

Alec stared for a second, picking through the best responses to that.

'How?' he went with.

'I stabbed him in the heart.' No _Master Alec_ that time. 'It was… he wasn't expecting me to do that. I stabbed him from behind.' Jace blinked hard, two tears escaping. 'Cowardly.'

Alec reached out and took one of Jace's hands in his own, tangled their fingers together and with his other, he brushed his hair back. Jace shivered slightly, swallowing harder.

'Brave,' Alec corrected easily. 'Killing an evil man is brave. You did what we'd been _trying_ to, what we couldn't. Valentine was as evil as they come,' he said, thinking how fucking _true_ that really was. 'I'm sorry for how much you must have suffered after that, but I'm… really proud of you, Jace.'

He looked up quickly, eyes wide with disbelief, with painfully suppressed hope. 'You are?'

'Yeah, absolutely.'

'But I killed my Master.'

'And if I hurt you, I'd want you to kill me too.'

The blond reeled at that. 'N-no, I would never—'

' _But,'_ Alec added, swiftly rescuing him. 'I promise never to do that, so hopefully it won't come to such an extreme measure. People who hurt you deserve to be punished. Don’t feel bad.'

He tried not to think about how he was passively normalising so much of what was the most problematic element between them, all the _master_ and _slave_ shit, but Jace was _shaking_ and Alec… he could fix it later, undo the attachment when Jace was safe and secure.

Part of him was fairly certain that once Jace _was_ safe and these remaining people who'd bled him were dead and gone, Jace would want to go his own way anyway, that he would have no use for Alec anymore as a replacement _Master_.

'Can I ask, why did you kill him?'

Jace still seemed mired in shock, but it faded enough for him to understand and answer the question. He scratched his inner wrist again, perhaps unconsciously.

'He was going to kill so many,' Jace uttered softly, brokenly. 'I l-loved him, I'd always tried my best to serve him, but he was going to kill _everyone_ who wasn't Nephilim and even then, so many of those. I couldn't let him.'

Alec stroked his face. 'So brave.'

'I'm not. It was cowardly, stabbing him in the back. The others…' Jace blinked hard, throat working and Alec felt the physical manifestation of his fear beneath his palm, felt all of Jace's body _tremble_. 'They were so angry.'

'They were using you to bring him back to life?'

'They were trying.'

'It's not possible.'

'I think,' he said slowly, looking off to the side. 'They knew that too. They were becoming desperate, trying more and more rituals, but nothing ever worked.'

'Always your blood, though?' Jace nodded silently. 'Can I ask why?'

The blond looked up for a moment, a strange expression flitting behind his beautiful eyes. 'He wasn't my Father.'

‘OK,’ Alec said, wanting to show that he understood even as he despised the reason _why_ Jace might want that made clear.

'He was… he raised me, but I know he wasn't my Father.'

Alec tried to tread carefully, seeking to walk the line between wanting to know more and not wanting to remind Jace that it had been whole _minutes_ since he’d called him _Master Alec_ , had slipped into that stunningly gorgeous informal tone, soft and American, _natural_. 'How do you know that?'

'Because he put his blood inside me, with a needle,' Jace said and now, God, now even his voice was shaking. 'He w-wouldn't need to do that if I was his s-son.'

'OK, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,' Alec said. 'We can stop now.'

Jace's hand was gripping his very hard.

'I'm sorry, Master Alec.'

_Damn it._

'Don't be sorry for _anything_. You probably saved millions of lives, you were brave beyond my understanding of the word. I'm so proud of you, Jace.'

Jace climbed into Alec's lap, a place he definitely _liked_ , and wrapped himself around Alec, hiding his face in his neck.

'Forgive me,' he whispered. 'Forgive me, please.'

Alec swallowed over a painful fucking lump, eyes burning. 'I forgive you, I forgive you for anything and everything, Jace.'

'Tell me I'm yours?'

His heart flipped in his chest, the words ready to trip and fall from his tongue, but he had to be _careful_ , because no matter how clever, how perceptive Jace was, he was vulnerable and broken and this was _temporary_.

'You're safe with me,' Alec said instead. 'I have you.'

Jace sobbed softly, strangely fractured sound and after a moment, he kissed the base of Alec's neck, the curve of his shoulder, right over his rune. The kisses went from light presses to deeper, wet, sucking things that had Jace swirling his tongue over Alec's skin as if it was fucking _ice cream_ , arms tightening, moving to straddle.

'Jace,' Alec said, hands loosely around his wrists to pry him gently away. 'Jace, we shouldn’t—'

'I _want_ to,' Jace panted, tongue trailing up to Alec's jaw, days’ worth of stubble there that Jace grazed his teeth over. 'I want to, please.'

He was hard in Alec's lap, gently writhing in a subtle, restrained rhythm of need and Alec was _so fucking weak_ for this kid, for this _man_ who'd crept beneath his skin in the worst and best ways.

Alec's hands rested on his sides. ‘You’re upset, it’s not right and Jace, this whole thing is so…’

‘So _what_?’

_Messed up, fucked up, twisted, wrong._

‘I don’t want to hurt you and I’ve already—’

‘You _saved_ me,’ Jace insisted, voice firmer than anything Alec had yet heard from the blond. ‘You brought me here, you took off my collar, you saved me, Master Alec. And I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone or anything before.’

Alec slammed his eyes shut. ‘That doesn’t make it right.’

‘None of this is right.’

‘It could be, it _has_ to be from now on, you deserve—’

‘Shhh,’ Jace bade, silencing him with a finger over his lips and then he took one of Alec's hands, pressed it right over his heart. 'Can you feel me?'

Alec swallowed and nodded. The beautiful, strong _thud-thump_ beneath his palm had his own heart seeking to match, to sync and lock in time forever. Jace was _hypnotic_ , he was utterly commanding and no matter how it looked or seemed, it was _he_ who owned Alec, that's how it felt.

Jace pressed their foreheads together, grinding his cock down over Alec's. 'Feel me when I say,' he breathed as Alec closed his eyes. 'That I _want_ you.’

Alec shook his head. ‘This is wrong.’

‘No.’

‘You can’t just—’

‘You want me to be happy, don’t you, Master Alec?’

_Master fucking Alec_ made a broken sound from the deepest regions of what he ordinarily kept locked up, locked away in a box labelled _Unnecessary Shit That Won't Keep You Alive_.

'I can't,' he whimpered and Jace just kept up the rhythm, pressed his palm harder, rubbed his nose against Alec's.

'You don't have to,' Jace told him. 'But you told me… to ask for what I wanted. This is what I want.'

Alec still had his eyes closed, it was _almost_ easier that way. His body was responding, skin running riot with all manner of sensations; heated flux of pebbled flesh and shivers that he felt inside his bones. All the blood in his body was veering South, was filling his cock, balls drawing tight and heavy and everything beneath his naval throbbed, but he could feel it in his _heart_ too, fuck, he felt it there like a brand.

'Jace, I _can't_ ,' he whined, but that time it was far, far weaker and Jace was winning, he was going to win and Alec fucking _knew_ it.

'Tell me why,' Jace asked. 'Tell me why you can't fuck me, Master Alec?'

'Th-that right there,' Alec uttered, throat thick and suddenly very dry. 'Because you think—because it's wrong, be-because—'

'You're not hurting me, are you?'

'No.'

'You're not tying me up.'

' _No_ , but—'

'I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me and come in me and make me spill just from your cock. I want you to _stretch_ me, Alec.'

His body was responding in spite of all his best intentions, eyes flying open because he had to see him, had to take in the sight that was Jonathan Christopher Herondale. ' _Ngh_ , that's not… we shouldn't.'

Jace actually smiled, despite the tear tracks, despite _everything_.

'Why not?'

'It's wrong.'

'No,' Jace said, shaking his head with a certainty that Alec both envied and hated. 'No, it's not. Feel my heart. Am I afraid?'

The beat was far steadier than Alec's own, that was for sure.

'Jace, I don't want to hurt you. This _is_ wrong, I can't take advantage of you anymore than I already—'

'Tell me to stop, then,' Jace whispered, licking into his mouth and Alec's lips opened against the beautiful intrusion, welcomed him, kissing hungrily, telling himself that they could do _this_ but nothing else, just this, just kissing. 'Tell me to stop, _Master_.'

Alec groaned, eyes rolling and Jace swallowed the sound down like it was cream, like it was fucking _ambrosia_ , smile curving against Alec's own lips.

'Please,' Alec muttered, on his very last thread of poorly constructed restraint, his hand still plastered to Jace's chest, only a thin layer of wash-faded cotton between them and he _wanted_ , he _needed_ Jace's skin against his own, needed them flush and sweat slick, buried deep enough to make the aching _stop_. ' _Please_.'

'Tell me,' Jace said, stronger that time. 'To _stop_ , if that's what you want.'

It was very emphatically _not_ what Alec wanted.

'What do _you_ want?' Alec heard himself say instead, could feel himself slipping. 'Tell me the truth.'

'I want,' Jace told him, briefly biting his bottom lip between his teeth, tugging. The blossom of light pain sent frissons running wild over Alec's whole body, like lightning over water. 'You to fuck me and own me. I feel _hollow_ and I need you to fill me up. I want you inside me, now and forever. I want it more than anything in this world.'

'Why?'

Jace tipped Alec’s chin back, shockingly masterful and discerning in that moment.

'Because,’ he said, studying Alec as if he could see all the way down into him. ‘We were made for each other… and you _know_ it.’

Alec _broke_. He crashed their mouths together in a bruising, claiming kiss, perfect collision of depth and desperation and if he was going to hell, he would at least have earned it.

He pushed up from the sofa, carefully dislodging Jace from his lap, but the kiss did not disconnect and when they were upright, barely an inch of space between them, he bent low enough to take hold of Jace under the thighs, pick him up and hold him, bringing them _achingly_ flush against one another, though still not _enough_. Jace seemed to delight in being held in such a way, wrapping his legs around Alec, locking ankles, arms about his neck.

Alec walked them against the nearest wall, forcing himself not to crash like he wanted. The soft impact still had Jace gasping out a moan, head thrown back against the plaster like he wanted _more_ , more of that. Alec couldn't fight how badly he needed to _press_ and _grind_ and fucking drive himself so deep into Jace that they'd never be able to tell where one ended and the other began.

Jace's clever fingers slid between their bodies, working Alec's belt, working down his waistband, working to free Alec's apparently _insatiable_ cock. When the cool air of the apartment hit Alec's ass cheeks, he felt those same oh so talented fingers close around his desperate length, wrapped all the way, grip just the right side of too tight.

'You're so fucking _big_ ,' Jace praised, jaw lax, eyes hooded but utterly fixed on Alec's own, like he couldn't look away, dragging that grip up and down, rough and perfect. 'Aren't you, Master Alec.'

Alec shook his head, not denying the thing about his dick, because _yeah_ it was big, but because he didn't want Jace to call him that then. He _almost_ completely didn't want it because it stung inside and it prickled some very dangerous part of him that had looked up with strange interest the first time Jace had called him that, had called him fucking _Master_.

'Not… together,' he said in a strangled voice, eyes shut as if that could make what he'd said any less _awful_ , any less unfor- _fucking_ -givable.

And Jace understood immediately. Jace, who didn't know what the Brooklyn bridge was called or how to shower, got it right away.

'My big, strong Master,' he purred confidently, dropping _Alec's_ name that time and oh, fuck, it went right to a bad place, to a place that was dark and disgustingly, painfully _delicious,_ something primal inside him helpless but to respond. 'You'll protect me always, won't you?'

'Yes, fucking always, _always_ ,' Alec promised feverishly, kissing him again, kissing to claim, to _own,_ even though the reverse was far more true. Jace began to lower the waistband of his own sweats, no small achievement for how close they were pressed together. 'Never let anybody hurt you ever again, I swear it.'

'Because I'm yours?'

Alec's eyes fluttered when Jace pressed them together, hardness to hardness, so perfect it made his bone ache, made his organs pinch and twitch. 'Yes,' he panted, thrusting helplessly, pinning Jace a little harder into the wall, his arms absolutely screaming in protest at holding Jace like this, but he didn't care, could have had a _rebar_ through his fucking torso and he wouldn't have stopped. 'Yes, you are.'

'Say it, then,' Jace demanded, head leaning back against the wall, neck exposed in what was a shockingly tempting display, a blank canvas in desperate need of a _mark_. 'Say it, Master.'

Alec groaned and said, 'You're mine, Jace.'

'Again.'

'You are _mine_ , Jace, and I'll always protect you, k-keep you safe, _fuck_!'

'Take me to bed.'

'Oh _God_ , Jace, I—'

'Lay me down,' Jace said, his voice never faltering and the reversal of power, of fucking _everything_ Alec knew about him as a person, was just stunning. 'I wanna feel your weight on top of me, please, _Master_.'

It was almost teasing now, challenging even, and it made Alec feel _wild_ , like he'd swallowed something that was changing him, cell by cell, steady transformation from a rational guy to this desire driven _beast_.

He walked Jace away from the wall, carried him into the bedroom and dropped him carefully. Jace barely had time to bounce before Alec was on him again, arms on either side of Jace's head, caging him in as they kissed, deep and wet, wildly messy. Alec's experience was sorely limited, but he felt like he was doing a good job, especially when Jace broke to catch his breath.

The position allowed for Jace to strip off his bottoms, t-shirt hauled overhead swiftly and there he was again, naked as when Alec had carried him back through the sewers last night, except he was clean now, he smelled of Alec's shampoo and something uniquely _Jace,_ right at the base of his skin. Like the summer roses that only grew in Alicante, like blackberries and cream, like _ozone_ and Alec knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he would never get enough of it.

Jace shifted up so that when Alec thrust, his cock diverted _under_ Jace, not against his own gorgeous length, head swollen and pink. It slipped right past Jace's balls, into a predestined groove, between his perfect ass cheeks and there was a new kind of friction, _very_ new.

Alec made a noise that he'd never _heard_ , not even in porn. Desperate cross between a sob and a gasp, all twisted into the mono-syllabic shape of Jace's name. It felt so good, pressure on either side, a tight clutch of flesh and the absolute fucking _need_ to pound Jace through the mattress was nigh overwhelming at that point.

'Does that feel good?' Jace whispered, tangling his fingers tightly in Alec's black hair and pulling, which made Alec cry out, grind harder. 'Hold me down.'

Alec could barely catch his breath, couldn't form words to say that he didn't want to hurt Jace, even though that wasn't quite what he'd asked for, was it? Any lines between them were blurring, fading fast and Alec felt like the tide was pulling him out away from the shore, with no hope of ever returning.

He shook his head and Jace made a _tiny_ noise of impatience.

'Hold me down, _Master_.'

There it was again, no name, no indictment of who it was doing these terrible (wonderful) things, and again, Jace was being rather _pushy_.

Alec decided he fucking _loved_ it when Jace was pushy.

He couldn't pin Jace's wrists to the bed, but he tangled their hands when Jace freed his from Alec's hair. He fitted his fingers in the space where they fit perfectly between Jace's and did that instead, his upper weight effectively trapping the other man but like, in a _nice_ way. Jace sighed contentedly, pushing up just a fraction, seeming to revel when he _couldn’t_.

'You-you like that?' Alec breathed when they kissed again.

'You know I do,' Jace said, which was enough for Alec in the moment but would trouble him later _(clever way of not saying yes or no)._ 'Will you fuck me, Master? If I say please?' Jace rolled his hips, clenched his cheeks and Alec saw floating colours behind his eyes, kaleidescope of collapsing shapes, a fucking _siren song_ of synaesthesia that had drawn him out to sea, surely as any idiot on a ship before who'd heard a pretty song and pursued it. 'If I ask _so_ , so pretty for you?'

Alec didn't care if he drowned, though. He didn't _care_.

His cock most _definitely_ didn't care. It had apparently decided they'd had plenty of years being taciturn and lonely, was now making up for lost time with a barely-there refractory period and an unquenchable thirst for _more_ of this creature beneath him.

Alec shook his head again, knew that this would have to be enough, couldn't rush something that - according to all the porn he'd ever seen - would require careful, lengthy prep. Pleasure was cresting higher and higher, spiralling within him and every time it heightened, the rest of Alec was drawing _down_ , like a bow. He felt his lungs in his knees, heart in his throat, every part of him completely fucking _fucked_ , but all he cared about was Jace.

He shifted, kissing Jace in a manner that couldn’t be called anything but _possessive,_ as he arranged the blond’s wrists so they were pressed together above his head, held _gently_ with Alec's thumb and fingers. With one hand free, he propped up on one elbow, his knees between Jace's thighs, and reached down, hesitating.

'Can I touch you?' he gasped, feeling suddenly, deeply stupid because they’d come this far and he hadn’t once actually _touched_ Jace, afraid that it crossed some invisible line between _letting_ Jace do things and _actually doing something back_.

Jace's eyes were drowning in desire, were heavy and half lidded, but he seemed to _understand_ that too, even if it made him frown a little.

'Yes, please, I want you to,' he rasped. 'Touch me, Master, _please.'_

Alec wanted to laugh then because it was all so fucking crazy and later he would see Izzy and she would probably kill him, but in the moment, it was all so _right_ , so perfectly, beautifully _good_.

Alec took Jace in hand, fingers trailing at first, getting to know the soft velvet skin, rock hard beneath and so hot, so thick.

'You're big too,' he grunted and Jace smiled, the kind that sent a great big _crack_ right through the centre of Alec's heart. 'God, you can fuck me next time, if you want.'

Jace's movements stilled and it took Alec a second to realise it.

'Wh-what did you say?'

Alec tried to think, to recall what he _had_ said, his dick nestled achingly between Jace's ass cheeks, his own fingers gripping Jace's throbbing cock, it was a _lot._

'Um,' he managed, eloquent in the extreme.

'You'd let… _why_?'

Jace seemed confused; wary and still.

'I just,' Alec panted, body rather _furious_ at his outburst now that everything had come to a halt. 'If you wanted to… y'know, do that.'

'You said next time.'

'I…' Alec winced. 'Yeah, I'm sorry, I wasn't thi—'

Jace surged up, absolutely crushed their mouths together and it _hurt_ that time, but that wasn’t a bad thing. Like it wasn't a bad thing that he tasted the faintest trace of fresh blood; bitter metallic smack on the tip of his tongue, tiny sting throbbing somewhere on his lower lip. Jace's canines had caught him there.

'I want to be yours forever,' Jace gasped into his mouth and it sounded like a confession, like it was so _true_ that it couldn't be trusted anywhere except between their lips. Alec swallowed it down, would keep it inside, long after Jace was free and safe, could go live his life anywhere he wanted. 'Promise to keep me?'

Keep him _safe._ 'I promise.'

' _Swear_ you won't ever let me go?'

Alec felt tears burn in his eyes again, emotions overwhelming then, a swirling ocean of _too much_ and he couldn't swear that, but he nodded, lying by omission and hoping it was enough.

He worked Jace's cock steadily now, thumbing the head on every other upstroke and palming the precome to make it slick.

'Please fuck me,' Jace was chanting, soft demand under his breath. 'Please fuck me, Master. Please, I need it.'

The temptation was a real live thing inside Alec then, almost impossible to control and he had never known himself _less_ , never been so astonished by his own desires, wholly unfamiliar to him then.

It would take nothing to actually do it, to throw Jace's knees over his shoulders, to align the wet, slick head of his cock to Jace's entrance, circle it over that fluttering hole, over the sensitive flesh and then _push_.

Push inside, push deep, stay there _forever_ because it was that above all else that his heart pounded for, _needed_. Forever. He wanted forever.

But from within, some previously dormant voice of reason bobbed to the surface at the worst possible time and said that this… _this_ was fucking _wrong_.

It didn't _feel_ wrong. It felt right and perfect and amazing. Jace was full on begging now, angling himself like he was _trying_ to impale his beautiful body on Alec's cock, precariously fucking _between_ instead of _inside_.

Alec pinned his hips down, stopped him with a grunt because it was _effort_ to control himself, let alone control Jace.

It did not feel wrong, but he knew it was.

With his hands newly freed, Jace's fingers clawed down Alec's back, fingernails digging in, drawing lines of fire down his already scarred skin and Alec had never known that pain could feel _good_ , not like this. It was a sprinkle of salt amid sugar, contrasting and sharpening each sensation of pleasure, fucking him up in all the ways he didn't know he needed.

Jace's fingernails had dug deep all the way down, over the curve of Alec's rapidly moving ass cheeks and when they could go no lower, Jace lifted one hand and smacked _hard,_ delivering a stinging blow. It pushed a sound past Alec's lips that he would rather die than admit he'd made. Jace’s hand cracked over the scratch lines, accentuating the existing pain and blowing Alec's mind in ways he didn't understand.

'You like that,' Jace said, not remotely a question. He knew, he _knew_ Alec liked it before Alec did.

_You're good at reading people_ , Alec had said; understatement of the century.

'Jace,' Alec gasped, brow furrowed, everything _tight_ and so fucking desperate he was reduced to single syllables. 'Jace, uhhh—uhh—God, _Jace_!'

Something was happening to Alec's body now, some kind of sharp sensation, like his blood turning to pins and needles, his heart overwrought and overworked, hurting with every pounding _push_ of prickly blood moving through him and it was getting bigger and bigger. It was the closest thing to _possession_ he'd ever felt, as an orgasm that more closely resembled rapturous _death_ took hold and smashed through him.

It was a violent, wild thing that sought to melt his bones, make them liquid gold, dissolve all the strongest of him. There was nothing gentle or _relieving_ about that orgasm. It pushed his heart to the very limit of survivable tolerance, it set him _on fire_ , it hurt. Fuck, it _hurt_ so much but it was beyond anything he'd felt as he fucked himself into the tight clutch beneath Jace's cock, which was somewhat neglected as he came painfully hard, a strangled, smothered scream rumbling in his chest that Jace drank from his lips, swallowed down while pulling on his hair, while working his hips to squeeze every last drop from Alec.

The feeling began to ebb slowly, leaving Alec numb all over, shaking and barely able to breathe. He wanted to think clearly, but it didn't seem to be a possibility just then.

He still had his trousers around his knees, was still almost fully _dressed_ , for God's sake and Jace…

Jace lay beneath him, completely naked, stroking his face, staring up with an expression that Alec could not quantify, didn't dare to.

'I—' Alec panted, cheeks wet with tears, mouth dry, caught in a _snare_ as he looked down over Jace's torso, over hundreds of thin, well-healed scars, some of them criss-cross, gaze landing on his still-hard, straining cock. 'I'm sorry, I didn't—let me—'

He made to awkwardly move down, but Jace just leaned up, encircled his neck with his arms and kissed him gently.

'Tell me to come for you,' he whispered in a manner that implied he was sharing a secret. 

Alec's chest felt like it was collapsing inward. 'Come for me, Jace.'

The blond let loose a punched out little breath, as if he was about to sneeze, that long _out_ , rapid _in._ He went entirely rigid, clinging hard to the man above as his eyes rolled back.

Alec felt spatter between them, hot and liquid. Jace's body arched like a bow, back raising off the bed as he came, praising Alec's name all the while. _Alec_ , not _Master_ , not _Master Alec_ , just his name, like they were lovers, like he wasn't wearing a bracelet that Alec had given to bind him, albeit unwillingly.

Like any of this was _normal_ or remotely all right.

Jace came down slower than Alec, seeming dazed, seeming a little bit _lost._ Alec didn't know what to do because any time he tried to move, Jace's arms tightened around him, keeping him exactly where he was, above him, ankles locked around the back of his thighs.

But slowly, eventually, Jace began to relax his grip. He returned to reality, somewhat unwillingly and when he looked up at Alec, focus forming along with a tiny little frown of anticipation, Alec knew he was about to say something serious.

'There's something I should tell you,' Jace said, voice softly hoarse; another secret, but this one would not be like the last, Alec suspected. He swallowed thickly, balancing on a knife's edge of twin emotions and either side he fell, he was completely fucked. 'I should have told you from the start that I’m—'

A sudden cacophony of banging from the front door made Alec jump, Jace's eyes widening.

'Yo, asshole!' his sister called out, voice clear enough to indicate that she'd let herself _in_. 'That was your five second warning. You'd better have a stunning reason why you didn't drag your sorry—OH HOLY _FUCK_!'

*


	5. Lesson Five: You Were Fucked BEFORE This and That's Saying Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this wasn't up sooner, but I basically wrote two chapters in one so enjoy!

It was a weird decision, Alec would reflect later, to not move _at all_ when his sister walked in the room, but he suspected it had something to do with how instinctively he wanted to protect Jace's… well, _modesty_ , he supposed.

'Hi,' he said, through gritted teeth when she didn't turn and flee. 'Can I get a fucking minute, or—?'

'No you _cannot_ get a fucking minute!' she yelled, moving around the side of the bed, one hand thrown up in front of her to block Alec and Jace from view. 'WHAT THE FUCK, ALEC?'

Jace was utterly still, muscles taut, watching Izzy with a blank expression that most definitely contained a hint of hostility, of _threat_.

'All right,' Alec said in a shockingly dead on impression of himself. 'I'll be out in a minute, OK? Go wait for me.'

'You explain right the fuck now!'

'Go _wait for me!'_

Isabelle silently fumed but after a few beats, turned tail and stormed out, slamming the door so hard that Alec's lamp wobbled on his bedside table.

He swore fluently under his breath, drawing away from Jace.

'That's your sister?' Jace asked as they eased apart, Alec wondering if this was what it felt like before one _died_. Shaken and utterly terrified of coming face to face with an unstoppable force.

'Yup,' he answered, looking around. 'I uh. Let's clean up and I'll go deal with her.'

' _DEAL_ WITH ME? MOTHERFUCKER, YOU BETTER BRING A WEAPON!'

Jace sat up quickly, staring at the door in a way that did not bode well. Alec reached out, hands on his shoulders, gentle and soothing.

'She's kidding, OK? She's kidding. _Isabelle_ ,' he threw over his shoulder. 'I'm coming out, but I need you to keep cool, all right? If you punch me, this is gonna get really fucked.'

His sister made a kind of _snort_ , but didn't add anything and he took that for agreement.

Alec used a t-shirt from the floor to wipe himself and Jace. It was a shoddy job but it would have to do.

'Do you want me to stay here, Master Alec?' Jace asked very quietly, nervous gaze flicking between the door and Alec himself. The formal tone was back in place, voice lowered.

'Yes, just while I… explain. Is that all right?'

Jace nodded, worrying his bottom lip. Alec drew the covers around him, tried to make him warm, ignoring how badly his hands were shaking and then he went out to face the music.

*

Izzy had one _motherfucker_ of a right hook, so Alec was almost grateful when she only slapped him around the face. A loud, swift crack of her _ringed_ hand across his cheek. He didn't stagger or sway, was built of tougher stuff than that, but it _hurt_ and he briefly bemoaned the loss of an outright punch because that… that was going to leave a _hand-print_.

From inside the bedroom, Alec heard Jace's muffled, but clearly tense voice.

'M—Alec, are you all right?'

'He said no punching,' Izzy retorted at the door, her sharp gaze never leaving Alec's. 'Go sit on the bed while me and my brother _talk_.'

Alec didn't rub his cheek, followed her out to the small kitchen.

'OK,' Izzy said, one hand on her hips, the other over her eyes. 'I'm not _judging_ , because you've walked in on me doing some truly weird shit more than once, with more than one guy.'

'With more than _three_ ,' he reminded her mutinously, crossing his arms.

' _That_ was once,' she said, glaring at him swiftly before she tossed her hair, old habit when her back was anywhere near a wall. 'And besides, I'm not the one who has to explain themselves! Who is he? Do you… _know_ him?' she asked, almost hopefully.

Alec wished he could go with that. 'No, I don't.'

'So, what? It's lust at first sight? You don't like sex, you've never even _had_ sex!'

'I've had sex! Oral sex is in itself an act of sexual intercourse, if you define the act as reaching orgasm, thus not excluding the LGBTQ—'

'Don't spout your _woke_ shit at me, I've had sex enough to give me honorary status to your club of the ever expanding acronyms! Why were you fucking him?'

'I… wasn't.'

'Oh,' she cocked her head, brow lifting with a would be innocent expression. 'You weren't? Because I thought the act of sex, _i.e. fucking someone,_ could be defined as reaching orgasm. From what I saw glittering in the morning sun, at least one of you got there and forgive me, _big bro,_ but it looked like _you_ were buried in him, balls deep!'

'This is the worst conversation of my whole life.'

'Why? Because you're embarrassed?'

'I'm not _embarrassed_!' he snapped, heat flooding his tone, glaring at her in turn. 'I don't _care_ if we talk about sex, God knows how often you've talked to me about it! I love you and sex is not _bad_. I'm not embarrassed, I'm…'

' _Ashamed_?' She had the decency to ask it quietly.

Alec rubbed his eyes. 'Why would I be ashamed?'

'I'm not _stupid_ , Alec. He had a collar on, in the middle of a fucking _pentagram_ and he'd been bled for days. I ran the entire database last night, across all Institutes. There is _no one_ on the database who matches his age group, I looked at pictures of them all. '

'So?' he shrugged, delaying the inevitable, not sure why. 'That doesn't mean anything.'

'Are you seriously skirting this?'

Alec took a steady breath, fixed her with a look. 'OK, he's been raised as a slave, yes.'

She swore impressively.

'But!' he added swiftly, moving closer, their height difference barely an inch with her heels. ' _But_ , I want to help him, and I think I _am_ helping. He says that to stay free of the people who owned him before, he needs a new…'

'Master?'

' _Yes_ , all right? Yes, he needs a new Master and tell me, oh _she of the clean conscience,_ what was I supposed to do, just toss him out, give him back to them? He _baulked_ when I told him he was free, he begged me to stay! What could I have done?'

She surveyed him soberly for a moment, head to toe, stepping back to rest her middle three fingers over her mouth.

'What is wrong with you?' she asked quietly. 'I've never—Alec, can you _hear_ yourself? _What could you have done? Oh_ , I don't know, maybe called me?'

'You told me—'

'Oh, don't you fucking _dare_!'

'—that you weren't gonna help!'

'As if _either of us_ believe I wouldn't do anything for you and vice versa. Don't come at me with this shit, it's weak, Alec.' She held his gaze. ' _You_ 're being weak. The fuck are you _doing_? Being his new Master?'

'It's…' his throat caught. 'It's temporary. Just until we can find and wipe out everyone who was holding him.'

'And part of being his Master is, what? Doing _that_ , is it?' She flung her hand towards his bedroom.

'OK, look, can we slow down? I need to tell you—'

'What, you _married_ him at some point last night, too?'

'He killed Valentine!'

She froze. 'What did you say?'

'You _heard_ me,' he ground out, unsure why he was so _irritable,_ beyond the obvious. 'He's been kept all his life in Valentine's clutches and last year, he was the one who killed him. Those people last night, they were Valentine's lower echelons, or at least I assume they were. We wiped out all the highest ranking Circle members ourselves. These people, who _owned him_ before I took the collar off, they've been using him to try and bring Valentine back from the dead.'

'For how long?'

Alec gave her a flat look. 'How long has Valentine been dead?'

'Fuck,' she swore, paling. 'Poor guy. But that makes _this_ even worse, you fuck-shit!'

' _Isabelle_!' he hissed urgently, quietly. 'I'm not instigating it and I know, I fucking _know_ that that doesn't make anything right but it's what he wants and I…' he shook his head. 'I can't _not_ help him or protect him from these people so please, _please_ save the whole murdering me thing for _after_ he's safe and we've killed every fucker left alive who wants to hurt him.'

His sister shook her head, sighed for a long moment and then said, 'Make me some motherfucking coffee, you asshole.'

*

To say that Jace was wary would be an enormous understatement. He hardly took his gaze off of Isabelle the entire time and he stayed right by Alec's side as they went through the whole thing.

'You should have called me,' she said _again_ and Alec let it go _again._ 'But we can deal with this.'

Jace asked, 'How?'

'By killing the people who were holding you,' she said as if it was obvious. 'So you don't need Alec.'

'I _don't_ need M— _Alec_ ,' Jace said, catching the slip, cheeks flushing just a tiny bit red. 'I _want_ Alec. I choose Alec.'

'To _protect_ you,' she said, more gently than Alec had ever heard her speak. 'If we remove what you require protection from, then—'

'No.'

'Jace,' Alec said. 'You can still stay here as long as you need to, but finding and killing those people is priority.'

' _One of_ our priorities,' Izzy reminded him not unkindly. 'The New York Institute is still the New York Institute. Plenty of free range evil out there, last line of defence and all that.'

Jace said, ‘It’s dangerous.'

Izzy sipped her coffee. 'So are we.'

'I don't want to risk you,' he said, his gaze sliding to Alec.

'I can handle a little risk.'

'You don't know them.'

'I know they're stupid enough to risk performing rituals like that beneath the Leylines.'

'There are others.' Jace was taut overall, like he was holding himself together, or _back_. 'They're more dangerous than the ones you fought.'

'Good,' Isabella said intently. 'Tell me about them.'

Jace paled. 'Why? You shouldn't go looking for them.'

'We'll be careful, I swear it.'

'What if you're not? What if they kill you and Master Alec, what then?' he demanded in a trembling voice, unable to catch the mistake that time, nor seeming to notice it.

'You can fight, right?' Izzy said, not unkindly, even though Alec wanted her to stop pushing Jace like this. 'You could fight them, you could run. You could run right now.'

'I can't.'

'Why not? Why do you _need_ a Master, Jace? Why not hole up some place, take care of yourself?'

'Hey, that's enough,' Alec warned sharply.

Izzy raised her hands, demeanour relaxed. 'I'm genuinely asking. You don't look like the typical sacrifice, Jace. You look like you could give even _me_ a run for my money. Why do you need Alec and why in this specific way?'

Jace lowered his gaze, everything about him shut down now. Alec took his hand; lax, pliant. 'It's how I've been raised.'

'Hmm,' Izzy commented, but her gaze was watchful. 'Well, all right. For now, I guess you're staying with my brother. Alec, you need to come by today and you need to bring him so he can ID a few faces, maybe we can at least eliminate a few of the usual suspects, those who scattered after Valentine died. Jace, look after Alec for me, yeah? Make sure he doesn't get into any trouble.'

Jace nodded. 'Yes, of course.'

'Cool,' she said, her dark gaze moving to her brother. 'Alec, a word?'

He walked her to the door, her keys were still hanging in the lock.

Isabelle lowered her voice. 'No more weird master slave sex shit, you understand? I don't care if he wants it, or says he does. Neither of us are exactly morally sparkling but this is a whole other level. He's fucked up.'

Alec lightly pushed her out into the hall. 'Don't talk about him like that and he can _hear_ you!'

'I know he can hear and believe me, he knows he's fucked up. Do _not_ cross this line with him again. Promise me?'

It would have been so easy to agree, there and then, just make the promise, reassure her so she could go and Alec could get back inside to Jace, but…

'I don't know if I can promise that,' he told her instead.

Isabelle shook herself. 'The fuck you say?'

'I can't explain it,' he said, staring down, jaw working. 'There's something about him.'

'Yeah, he's hot, like I said _before_ , but fuck me, Alec, he's been raised as a _slave_! What is wrong with you? I'm asking seriously, as your sister. Did you get _whammied_? Is this like me with that pollen last year?'

Alec grimaced. 'Fucking _hell_ , no, it is nothing like that and thanks very much, I _really_ wanted to be thinking of that!'

'There's something really not right about this,' she said, almost to herself. 'You're not like this, Alec, you _know_ you're not.'

'It's not _sex,_ I care about him,' he insisted through gritted teeth, untraceable anger swelling in his chest.

'Care? Alec, you've known him less than twelve hours!'

'That doesn't mean I don't _care_ about him! That doesn't mean I can't _love_ —'

Alec froze, his whole body went rigid, eyes widening. He thought maybe he saw his own reaction mirrored in Izzy, the same shock, the same _what in the actual fuck_ astonishment.

He said nothing after it, didn't follow it up with anything. His cheeks were burning, blood running up his neck, scalding him. Hands sweaty and it was a dull thing, realising that maybe she was right, that there was something actually _wrong_ with him.

The siblings stood like statues, Alec's heart betraying him completely. They had agreed long ago never to love anyone but one another; they'd promised it the night after they burned Max's body.

Eventually, Izzy looked away.

'Alexander,' she said quietly, visibly shaken. 'I'm going to the Institute because that's my job and I need you to fix this, all right? Do whatever you need to _fix this_.'

That time, Alec didn't argue. He understood. Nodded and turned when she left, headed back into his place where Jace was waiting on the floor beside the sofa, gaze riveted to the ground.

'I'm so sorry,' he uttered. 'I—I broke your rules and your sister thinks you're a bad person because of me, I—'

'No,' Alec said wearily, wiping his eyes because they were _wet_ , what the fuck? 'No, you're fine. This has all been… weird. That's all. I'm tired and this whole thing is crazy. People have all kinds of um, emotions, don't they? When shit is weird.' He swallowed and shut the door. 'Did you hear us out there?'

Jace didn't answer and Alec closed his eyes. _Fuck_.

As the terrible silence grew and stretched, Alec decided to take control.

'OK, um. So, she's right. This needs to stop.'

'Please,' Jace whispered in a small voice. 'Please, I'll be better.'

Alec rubbed his face and even though he'd shaved that morning, slapdash but better than nothing, his jawline felt rough. He felt uncomfortable in his skin, hair slightly too long between the times he let Izzy cut it.

'Jace,' he sighed, not daring to look at him lest his resolve falter. 'You're already perfect, that's the problem. That's the _problem_. You're—I can't _resist_ , I can't control it and that's not like me. I shouldn't have let anything happen, right from the start I should have said no.'

In his peripheral vision, he saw Jace try and make himself smaller, saw the way his shoulders dropped, his already lowered head went lower and all of Alec's insides twisted and tangled, guilt overwhelming.

'I've let this go too far, way, _way_ too fast,' he pushed on, eyes burning, throat thick with tears he was _not_ going to shed, he fucking wasn't because yesterday this kid, this _man_ had not been a part of his life and he'd been fine, hadn't he? He'd been _fine_ before Jace but if he wasn't careful, he wouldn't be fine _after_. 'It's my fault, completely my fault. I… Jace? Oh, Jace, please don't—no, come on.'

He dropped to the floor in front of Jace who was silently crying, though trying not to show it.

'Don't cry, please,' Alec said, one hand running up and down his shoulders, the other gently tipping his chin to lift his face but Jace refused, kept his gaze downcast. 'Please, I'm sorry.'

'You said you wouldn't let me go,' Jace uttered, refusing to look up, to look anywhere but down. He was trembling beneath Alec's hand, his whole _body_ shook. Alec had never felt anyone shake like that. 'You said you'd keep me, that I was yours.'

Alec faltered, at a loss. 'I… Jace, I can't keep hurting you. Izzy is right, she's _right_ and I'm… I don't know what's happening to me, if it's trauma bonding or whatever the fuck.'

Jace swallowed hard and took a serrated breath, jaw working.

'I know I'm messed up,' he said, low and gravelly. 'I know I'm… not normal.'

'You're not messed up. You're _strong_ and you're… Jace, you're _perfect,_ but I'm not either of those things and right now, you need stability, I think. Please, look at me. Please?'

Reluctantly, Jace lifted his gaze, glassy eyed with tears, sadness born of resignation and dread in every part of him. 'You don't understand.'

'I do, I mean, obviously I can't know what you've been through, but I—'

'No, you don't _understand_ ,' Jace said again and slowly, his expression was shutting down, closing off entirely. He seemed to be retreating inward, raising shields and Alec didn't like it, couldn't help but want him to stay, to be open to what Alec was trying ( _failing_ ) to communicate. 'This is all my fault. You have a life, you have…' He shook his head. 'You should uh,' he wiped his nose with his wrist, looking away. He seemed almost calm now, except Alec could _feel_ him, he could fucking _feel_ every part of him, even if they weren't touching. 'Drop me off somewhere with the collar. Yeah,' he nodded, trying to smile. 'You've been really nice and I'm grateful, thank you. I'm sorry I caused you all this trouble.' He pushed up carefully, wobbly attempt at a smile still in place. 'Can I maybe keep these clothes?'

Alec got up so fast his head spun.

'Jace, _no!'_

The blond nodded efficiently. 'Right, of course.'

Too many things were trying to come out of Alec's mouth at once and so _nothing_ was coming out, just a stupid expression painted across his face, eyes wide, lips parted.

Jace waited for a few beats and when nothing happened, he turned away. 'All right, well. I'll just get the collar and you don't have to take me anywhere, they'll uh, I'll find my way.'

Alec shook himself. 'Your way where? And also _no._ No, you're not leaving, no I'm not dropping you off somewhere with that fucking collar and you don't have to ask for what you want, the clothes are yours, but Jace… what the _fuck_?'

Jace avoided Alec's gaze.

'I think,' he said, deceptively calm. 'That maybe you're right. This is a bad idea and I'm…' he huffed a gentle laugh. 'Making a mess of your life.'

Alec didn't understand, felt like he'd missed an important step somewhere along the line. Panic began to encircle his heart because the idea of Jace _leaving_ was not good, it was very bad. Jace had to stay where Alec could keep him safe, could protect him and hold him and make him glow, make him beautifully, wonderfully happy.

'Jace,' he said in what he hoped was a firm voice. 'You don't have to go.'

The blond gave him an almost flawlessly neutral smile.

'I know,' he said. 'But it's time, isn't it? You know, maybe there's a whole life out there for me and I should uh,' he looked around, briefly distracted by his search for the collar. 'start living it, yeah. Where's the collar?'

'What? _Why_?'

'Just for…' he turned in a circle. 'Where did you put it?'

Jace was not calling him _Master_ anymore, Alec realised.

And Alec also realised he didn't want to _tell_ Jace where it was, that he didn't want Jace to leave. He couldn't stand the thought of either.

'No,' he said.

Jace looked back, challenge present beneath the cleverly constructed neutrality. 'No?'

'No. _No_ , you cannot have that fucking _thing_ back.'

'It's the only thing I came with,' Jace said simply.

'Yeah? Well, you can't have it,' Alec fired right back, unable to control the thin tremor running through it. 'You don't _need_ it!'

'I do.'

'Why?' Alec stepped closer when Jace's silence stretched. 'Tell me, Jace.'

Jace's entire body gave a gentle but undeniable _roll_ , almost akin to suppressing a shudder but it was too obvious for that and the sight of it prickled something at the base of Alec's spine, primal awareness that Jace was not as neutral as he pretended.

'I need it,' he said, glancing at the door. 'Because if you won't be my Master, then someone else will have to.'

Alec couldn't _breathe_. He just couldn't. He'd heard it, most _definitely_ didn't want Jace to repeat it, but he couldn't believe it either.

'I heard you outside,' the blond went on. 'I know you don't _want_ this. Almost everyone I've ever known has wanted me like this, they fought for it, died for the chance but you _don't_ want it and I…' he closed his eyes. 'If you won't take control of me, then I can't risk being here.'

'Why? Because you think they'll come for you?'

Jace didn't answer.

It was a vivid, violent clash in his chest; emotions roiling and combining like waves, smashing together; anger, panic, worry, resentment, those were the ones Alec trusted, acknowledged, but when combined, they bled together and formed newer, terrible feelings.

Jealousy, at the thought of this _someone else_. Jealousy so strong it took his breath away and also a strange kind of primal desire that Alec did not dare examine because it made his fingers twitch and his blood run hot.

But mostly, _mostly_ , he cared. He cared way too much and it flooded through every other emotion, a river through the heart of each feeling. Jealousy turned _soft_ and stupid, because no one had ever looked at Alec like that and he wanted more of it, wanted it to be real. Resentment turned weak, could not help but blame himself instead of Jace, even when he thought that Jace might genuinely be manipulating him a little. Worry turned to an ocean, all consuming, barely countered with logic. Anger cooled and panic took hold in the base of his throat. Caring made everything better and worse and there was a _reason_ why he and Izzy had promised, long ago, never to love anyone outside of their remaining bloodline.

It was too much, too intense to trust when all his life, Alec relied on the cold, clean of _logic._ Ranged attack from a distance before necessity would put a sword in his hand, he'd always been that way.

So to be taken over by his _feelings,_ by feelings that had no basis in reality, it was terrifying.

'I don't want you to go.'

It… was not enough to keep Jace from turning away, from pulling the collar out of the trash and heading towards the door. Alec felt like he was outside his body, like he was seeing himself from _above_ when he followed Jace to the door, took hold of him and stopped him.

'Please,' he grit out, but it sounded weak and broken and desperate. 'Don't go back, please.'

Jace didn't answer. 'Let go.'

'Don't go back to them, I'll—I'll _protect_ you, Jace. I will!'

Jace tried to shove him away, but Alec didn't allow it, he stayed where he was, caught in their weird struggle to open the door until Jace's patience broke and he slammed Alec into the door, eyes flashing bright and furious and _yes_ , good, Alec wanted that. Wanted anything but the pretence of calm, pretending to be _fine._

'Do you think this is _easy_ for me?' Jace demanded, palms pressed hard against Alec's shoulders, pinning him against the door. His cheeks were flushed and his hair fell into his eyes and Alec was so fucking lost, he didn't know what was happening. The clarity he'd felt when Izzy had been near was _gone_ , it was just gone and all he felt, all he wanted was for Jace to stay and be safe. Stay with Alec.

_Be_ Alec's.

'I know it's not.'

'Then let me go.'

'You can't go back to them. They'll kill you.'

'They won't. I'm too _valuable_.'

'Stay with me,' Alec begged softly. 'Stay with me, Jace. I'll… I'll protect you.'

'You can't.'

'I can, I _will_! You wanted that before, didn't you?'

Jace's gaze flickered away for a moment, his not inconsiderable strength faltering. 'Your sister only wants what's best for you and she's right. I'm fucked up.'

'You're not!'

'I am,' Jace said, looking back and now, _now_ he was pleading with Alec to see it, to see more than he could say. 'I am fucked up and I can't… God, I don't want to fuck you up too. You're a normal person, you don't deserve this.' He let go of Alec, moved away slowly. 'You don't deserve this,' he said again, despair draining away the strength of that brilliant anger.

With his back to Alec, he took a deep breath and said, 'I need this. I need to be owned. It's hard to explain, but I can't be without a Master. I've been a slave all my life and it's all I know. I thought if I made it as good for you as possible then that was a fair trade, but it's _not_. You're… you're a truly good man and I don't think I could… nothing is worth hurting you.'

'I'm the one hurting you!'

'No, you're not, at all,' he said flatly. 'And I'm not going to be able to convince you of that, so just let me go.’

'No, you’re not going back to them,' Alec said, voice shaking all over the place. 'You're _not_!

‘I can’t make you do this, I _won’t_ let you hate yourself—'

'You're _mine!'_

The second the words came out, his skin ran rampant with a kind of liquid fire just beneath the surface, a Mexican wave of prickling heat that stung in his fingertips and made them itch because it was _true_ , it felt _true_ and no logic or rationale could change that.

He started to feel dizzy, to feel lightheaded and he just _needed_ Jace to understand, to know that he only wanted to protect him.

Jace closed his eyes, swallowed hard. 'Alec, don't.'

'I won't let you go back to them, I _won't_.' The words sounded far away, they sounded distant. The want inside him was climbing _again_ , was spiralling again and there was no way of calming himself down, not when Jace was talking about _leaving_ , was still holding that fucking _collar._

His eyes were still closed, those beautiful, mismatched eyes that Alec wanted to see, needed to see because he didn't know what he was doing anymore, needed a roadmap.

He struggled hard against whatever it was that had his heart in such a vice like grip. 'If you want to g-go, you can, but I _want_ you to stay. I only… Jace I can't control myself around you. I only wanted to protect you from that. From _me_.'

When Jace opened his eyes, Alec saw pain, he saw suffering and sadness but he saw _hope_ there too, strangled like a flower beneath vines. He stumbled forward, touching Jace's cheek with the very tips of his fingers, exerting absolute trembling restraint to _only_ touch him in such a way.

_This is fucking crazy_ , he whispered to himself. _Crazy._

'I don't want protection from that,' Jace told him, voice cracking slightly as he reached up and wrapped his fingers around Alec's wrist, misery etched into him, but something else too, some kind of desire that Alec could not help but seek out and mimic, helpless but to respond, lost to himself. 'I _want_ it, I want you, I—'

Alec crashed their mouths together, he kissed him hard and deep and almost _rough_ , there but for the restraint he was shaking with. The kiss _submerged_ him in whatever it was he'd been cautiously dipping a toe into before, what he'd been skirting from as the tide drew in. It was a kiss unlike anything, open mouthed and deep, tongues brushing and lips claiming, he wanted to _consume Jace_ , he wanted to crawl inside him.

'You have me,' he ground out, the words barely audible, his mind awash in fever and fervency, emotions in his blood like toxins, draining him of rational thought, of the ability to do anything beyond what Jace _wanted_ of him and this… this was too much, he was too far gone. He needed Izzy back here to hit him again or he was going to… he was…

'Jace,' he groaned, like it was a verb and he was asking for it oh so nicely. ' _Jace_ , please.'

'You can have whatever you want,' Jace told him, one hand snaking up into his hair, lips touching, the taste of him practically _drowning_ Alec. 'I'm yours, if you'll keep me, I promise. But you have to _own_ me, Alec, you understand? I can't… be here unless you will. Freedom is dangerous to me.' He drew back and when Alec tried to pursue, he stopped him, fingers on his lips, pleading with him to understand which, yeah, that was pretty fucking difficult in the moment. 'I _need_ this, please? Please, no more trying to free me or let me go? If I'm yours then _make me_ yours.'

He seemed almost afraid and Alec might wonder, later on, what exactly he was afraid of, what had his eyes shining brighter than they had any right to when he was that fucking _hard_ against Alec, when their bodies were made to fit together and Alec would _die_ unless he was inside him.

But in the moment, he didn't wonder, he just knew he would give Jace whatever he wanted. _Anything_ he wanted, it was already his.

'I'll make you mine,' he promised, holding back still, sober enough to implement a condition of his own, despite the state of his body and mind, heart a wild bucking thing in his chest. ' _If_ you promise that you'll never, ever let me hurt you.'

'I don't understand.'

'Yes, you do. Never let me do anything you don’t want, anything that hurts you in a bad way.'

_In a bad way_. Alec was so, _so_ fucking ruined.

Jace's eyes darkened _ever so slightly_ , lips parting again. 'I promise,' he said, but it was given too freely, too fast. Alec's body was itching, was aching to do things he had never done; primal passion on hold at great cost to his nervous system, but he had to be sure, that seemed to matter so much as they stood there clutching one another. 'I _promise_ , Master Alec, never to let you do anything to me I don't want.'

That was exactly what Alec needed to hear, every word. His cock twitched when Jace called him _Master_ again, something dark and not unlike a smug _cat_ inside him purring in a pleased manner now that the title was returned. Jace was _his_ , fucking _his_ and no one would ever hurt him again. He would die to protect him, he would kill anyone who dared try and harm him ever again.

'Yes,' he praised, taking Jace by the face and tilting him up just a little, staring down at him. 'Yes, that's good.'

'You want me, don't you?' Jace said, so knowing, mismatched eyes moving between Alec's.

'More than anything.'

'You need to make me yours?'

Alec keened, high and needy and _fuck_ , but it was _hurting_ now, to restrain himself. 'I feel like…' he panted. 'Like I love you.'

Broken promise to himself, to his sister, to their entire ethos and paradigm but he was _weak_ for Jace and he had been right from the very start, mere _hours_ ago.

It felt like a lifetime, like years, like Jace had simply been _taken_ from him and now he was back.

Jace made a sound that threatened to unmoor Alec, that caused his control to quake and strain because if Jace made a sound like that again - soft, breathy little sob right from the place where emotions were born - he was going to _lose it_.

' _Love me_ , then,' Jace said through gently grit teeth, tears in his eyes. 'Love me and own me and _keep_ me, always. Always, always, Master Alec, never let me go.'

The last four words hit Alec like a gong, like a velvet covered _mallet_ to the head and he knew, with zero uncertainty, that he was absolutely lost to Jace then.

'Never,' he cried, kissing him again, winding his arms around his middle to cinch them closer. 'Never let you go.'

'Make me yours,' Jace gasped, his breath catching on another small sob and it was too intense, too _much_ , but it was the best thing Alec had ever fucking felt. 'I need you to make me yours, bind me to you, now and always, _please_.'

Alec couldn't really focus on his words anymore, especially not on speaking them. He lifted Jace around the middle because he wanted it, wanted to _manhandle_ this beautiful creature and he could, he was strong enough. Alec didn't exactly _want_ to think about Valentine just then, but a deeply animalistic part of him, the part that _purred_ within, compared him to Alec and knew, with utter confidence, that Valentine had never picked Jace up this way.

The blond wrapped his legs around Alec's waist and kissed him from his new vantage point above.

No one, Alec felt sure, had ever _loved_ Jace like this, never would.

Back in the bedroom and Alec was starting to forget what the outside world looked like, what fresh air tasted of, but he couldn't have cared less. They fell to the bed in a tangled heap and once horizontal, same position as they had been less than an hour ago, Alec's desire went _wild_ , made his vision darken around the edges.

'I need—oh _fuck_ , Jace, I _need_ you!'

'Take me, then.'

Alec fumbled for his bedside table, knocking his lamp over, sending his phone which he'd forgot to charge overnight clattering to the floor as he yanked the drawer open, rummaging around inside clumsily, heart in his throat and Jace's tongue deep in his mouth.

He half yanked the drawer out, sent the contents spilling all but the one thing he needed, the thing he was searching for.

'What's that?' Jace asked, breaking the kiss to see what Alec had retrieved. He was breathless and flushed and so fucking _beautiful_ that it hit Alec all over again, that he was about to do this and Jace, he just stared up at him trustingly caged beneath Alec's arms, beneath the weight of his body.

'It—it's lubricant,' Alec said.

For some reason, a line appeared between Jace's eyes, a strange little frown not born of confusion, because he clearly knew what lubricant _was._ Softly, he slid one arm around Alec's neck, taking the half empty tube from Alec's shaking fingers.

'For me?'

'Yeah, for you, or… if you want to… with me on the bottom, that's—whatever you want.'

Jace looked away from the tube of KY, up at Alec again and the little frown was still there, but something stronger too, something much more certain.

'You didn't want to hurt me, even now?' He placed his hand on Alec's chest, over his heart. 'I can feel how much you want me and you _still_ thought of protecting me?'

Alec didn't understand what he was saying, what he meant by that. He tried to kiss Jace again, but the blond stopped him that time.

'You really are a good man, aren't you?'

'I—Jace, I'd never hurt you,' Alec promised in a trembling, shuddering breath, affected by the sheer level of control required to keep himself still. Vaguely, distantly, he knew he wasn't really in control of himself, he just knew it, but he couldn't make himself _care_. 'Wanna make you feel good, wanna make you all mine.'

Jace let the kiss connect, one arm tightening around Alec's waist and Alec was sure he could taste salt now, that someone was crying but he couldn't tell who because the deeper they kissed, the harder he fell.

And he was _falling_ , he could feel it, even if he couldn't stop it.

'Will you make me safe?' Jace whispered.

Alec shook himself, something about a word in there was not _quite_ right. _Make_ him safe rather than _keep_ him safe, but it didn't matter, nothing mattered except for the feel of Jace's hips starting to roll beneath him, the sensation of Jace's clever fingers peeling away all their clothes, stripping them both off because Alec didn't think he had the dexterity to do it himself.

'Yes,' he swore blindly, helping to get himself naked where he could. 'I will, I promise.'

It was pure fucking _heaven_ to feel Jace against him without a shred of clothing between them. Skin to skin and heart to heart, lips sucking and biting and tongues deep, cocks rubbing hard, fingers roaming, pulling on hair and making Leylines all over Alec's back. It was bliss, it was far more than Alec had ever felt before in his _life_ and he somehow felt _clearer_ than before, like the proximity gave him clarity.

'I'm making you mine,' he said, rearing back a tiny bit, blinking as Jace did this _thing_ where he pushed himself up and then ground _down_ , oh it made Alec's eyes roll, but it didn't deter him from what he knew to be true.

Jace popped the cap, drizzled lube over Alec's fingers and guided his hand down. It was messy, left a trail over their stomachs, over wiry hair and velvety ball sacks and Jace carefully took two of Alec's wet, slippery fingers and pressed them together with intent, his thighs widening.

'Jace, wait,' Alec said when the pads of his two fingers brushed over the blond's entrance, mind blowing _touch_ in and of itself that would have had Alec likely coming on the spot if he hadn't already, less than an hour ago. ' _Wait_.'

Jace waited. With his free hand, he stroked Alec's face.

'We can stop,' he said and Alec believed him, knew it was true. There was a worryingly high level of _trust_ that he couldn't source. 'We don't have to do this, I promise.'

'I do want it,' Alec said, his mind clearing just enough to say what he really _meant_. 'But it's… I can feel it, I'm gonna own you if I do this.'

Jace was so _sober_ , so remarkably calm when he said, 'You already do,' as if people actually said such things. He stroked Alec's face and there was something bittersweet about all this, something he could not understand, but Jace's words felt so true and nothing - not his sister, not shame, not the _outside world - nothing_ could dissuade him of the notion that this was the _right_ , absolute best thing to do. Only Jace himself asking to stop would have convinced Alec otherwise.

'Tell me you want this,' he said, arms shaking under the force of his still weight, their hands frozen between Jace's legs, but he would go no further until _sure_. 'Be honest.'

The blond said, 'I have never wanted anything for myself as much as this. I _want_ you to own me, to be my Master. So long as you… you want the same. Is this what you want?' he asked, shockingly tender, considering where Alec's fingers were poised. Jace's hand slid around the back of his head, brought his face down and closed the small gap to press an undeniably loving kiss there; sweetly chaste and lingering. 'You have to want it.'

'I do. I want it, I want,' Alec swallowed over a lump that _hurt_ so bad it made his eyes tear up. 'I want you so much, I can't stand it.'

Jace moved his fingers, guided them that last inch. 'Fuck me,' he breathed, pushing his hips down, this time with the effect of grinding himself on the tips of those messy, wet fingers until Alec got the hint.

He circled and then slid the middle finger slowly, gently inside, relying on his knowledge of what had felt good to _him_ when he was horny and curious. Jace's clutch was warm and hot, scalding almost. The man beneath him made a sound, a little grunt of frustration.

'More,' he urged.

'I don't—'

'You can't hurt me,' Jace said, pushing his head back into the pillow, exposing the pale column of his throat. He had precious few runes over his body and Alec had the urge to draw more, to draw them everywhere, to get ink and a needle and _mark_ him up, pretty personal design that meant he was Alec's. 'Please, give me more.'

The dark, purring centre of Alec's desire _wholeheartedly_ agreed, demanded that they give Jace more, give him everything even if it made no logical sense, but Alec was determined _not_ to risk hurting him. He was slow and careful and Jace became more and more impatient, downright _bratty_ almost, hands on Alec's shoulders, writhing and trying to fuck himself on Alec's finger, spreading all that generous slick deep inside him.

Jace was so fucking _tight_ that Alec couldn't understand how this was going to work, how he was going to get inside him, but he knew he wasn't going to rush, no matter how much the blond begged for it.

When he finally pushed another freshly lubed finger inside, Jace made a kind of impatient growl, a gorgeous thing that, despite everything, made Alec smile as he kissed him. He could _feel it_ then, smack bang in the centre of his chest, he could fucking _feel_ that he loved Jace. It was too late, too far gone. Irreversible territory and he just didn't care how fucked he was, he didn't _care_.

Two fingers made him aware that this was going to hurt Jace, no matter what he did, because Alec's dick was of not inconsiderable size. He was three fingers deep, slick running down his wrist in lazy rivulets when Jace's patience had him snapping to _fuck him already. Fuck him, fill him, stretch him, split him, anything, please anything._

_'_ You need a fourth,' Alec said, undeterred by his pleas, by his bratty impatience and his torturous writhing. Jace kept shifting _down_ , kept trying to fuck himself on Alec and Alec wasn't having any of it.

With one hand, he took both Jace's and held him by the wrist, pinning them carefully but _firmly_ above his head and Jace smiled, pleased. 'You _need_ a fourth,' Alec insisted, and the position of holding Jace at bay, of his fingers stretching and easing his opening, slipping deeper each time, it meant he was practically _laying_ on top of Jace with very little to hold him up.

Alec wasn't _light_ and it had to be at least partially crushing Jace, but the blond was clever, he used his thighs to brace a lot of Alec's weight and when that wasn't enough, when Alec began to worry, Jace seemed to sense it and he yanked his hands down easily and efficiently from Alec's loose grip. He shifted _down,_ tossed the pillow aside so he was flat on the unmade bed and then he swung both legs over Alec's shoulders with athletic ease and sort of _bent_ himself in half. Alec could lean fully now, was supported by Jace, who obediently, smugly lifted his hands back into the position, wrists together, waiting.

'Hold me down, _Master_ ,' he breathed, eyes bright and beautiful.

Alec was _lost_ to him.

The new position meant he only had to glance down to see his own fingers slipping inside Jace's body, into his ass that Alec wanted to _pound_ , wanted to fuck himself so deep they'd accidentally catch and tangle and never be _two_ ever again. It was all slick and glistening, sheets utterly ruined and the weight of Jace's knees over his shoulders made everything that much better, closer, more intimate.

He held Jace's wrists, encircled them in one hand and pushed four fingers into him, pinkie slipping inside with the other three and Alec had been wrong, Jace's body _could_ stretch and adjust and thank God because, all arrogance aside, his dick was _big_. He was relieved to see how well Jace could take his fingers, almost his whole hand. It made him warm in a way he didn't understand, made him _proud_ of Jace.

He pushed it inside, twisting his wrist each time in corkscrew motion and it was driving him fucking _mad_ , wanting his cock in there, wanting to feel all that _tightness_ around him. It was primal and powerful and at the base of it all, there was a rhythm and that rhythm was Jace's _name_.

Alec knew Jace was ready, he could feel it, but part of him hesitated anyway. Not out of fear, that was long gone, but more simply a desire to prolong the moment, to play with Jace.

Alec had never _had_ this. The naked together in bed thing. He wanted to tie Jace down and drive him wild with pleasure, he wanted to _suck him,_ see how far he could take him and feel it when Jace came down his throat, drink him down and see the look on the blond's face when he came that way. He wanted too much and he wanted it all at once, wanted it forever and when they came, it might be _finished._

Jace was about to say something, Alec could tell. Kid was _far_ too good at reading him and as much as he'd have loved to hear what reassurances Jace would offer, to feel the searing shock of how _well_ Jace seemed to actually know him, he didn't want Jace to have to comfort him then.

So he carefully withdrew his fingers, almost his whole fucking _hand,_ and finally paid some attention to his weeping cock, the head swollen and furious at the sheer level of neglect it had received. He drizzled what little remained of the KY over it, the liquid too cold at first, making him shiver.

Jace was playing with his hair and by playing, he meant _pulling_. Tangling his clever, recently freed fingers in Alec's jet black hair and tugging it, gasping softly, whining near constantly and chanting under his breath things that Alec didn't pay much attention to, otherwise he was going to come _before_ he got inside him.

He made a genuinely broken noise when he rubbed his fist up and down his cock to wet it and his whole body was right there, right on the verge of coming. 

Jace pulled him down for another kiss, wet and deep, wildly messy with no restraint or finesse. The blond was undulating beneath him, body rolling like the waves of the ocean, even bent in half like he was.

'Fuck me, fuck me, _fuck me_ , Master, please, please.' His voice resonated at the back of Alec's brain, hit some kind of receptor he didn't even know he had and he thought maybe he would do anything Jace wanted if he spoke to him like that. Smooth and yet jagged with a deeply rooted need, with a desire that more closely resembled _hunger_.

Shaking from head to toe, Alec shifted his weight, pushed back and brought his own knees a little higher on the bed. Distantly, _so very distantly,_ he thought maybe it was darker than it had been before, that the sunlight seemed to be far more _dim_ than it had any right to be, but he didn't really care, not when he rubbed the head of his cock up and down between Jace's ass cheeks. It was obscenely wet and slick and everything _glided_ , he'd used way, way too much lube but like the vanishing sunlight, he didn't care.

He cared about _Jace_.

Jace, who was calling his name in that voice, whose fingers were knotted in his hair as if _(fucking as if)_ Alec might try and leave. Jace, who looked at Alec like he _saw_ him, like he knew him, like he…

Like he loved him.

And it was a momentous, great big thing, when Alec swallowed hard and aligned his cock to Jace's ass, to the slick, well prepared opening. His hips _burned_ to push, to shove deep and rough, to bury himself inside Jace, but he held back, trembling to do so. He was wet with sweat, dizzy with rapid, shallow breaths but Jace… Jace had him. Ankles loosely locked around his upper back, one hand in his hair, the other on his ass, gripping the meat there, fingernails digging in just enough to give it that gorgeous zig zag contrast, that little bit of _pain_ amid so much overwhelming pleasure and that… that was _before_ he'd even done anything.

It was a big deal when he pushed inside Jace and he hadn't thought it would be. The whole _losing your virginity_ thing had always seemed like bullshit. Alec knew he was gay from a young age, knew how guys were. Candles and _Sarah McLachlan_ had never been on the cards and he figured one day he'd go clubbing, meet someone who had lube and they'd fuck.

This was not that. This was everything he doubted, everything and _more_. It was the fires of heaven set against a velvet black sky and Sarah McLachlan standing in the fucking room, serenading them about angels, about love.

Jace was still so _tight_ that it took his breath away, locked his organs up in faint shock because oh… _oh_ , nothing had ever felt this fucking good. Oh God, _nothing_ in the world had ever made Alec feel this way. Like he was slipping into undiluted rapture, like his soul was being sucked out through his dick, like he was _dying_.

He started moaning, couldn't help it. Jaw lax, noises to rival a fucking _whorehouse_ spilling past his lips and it was all for Jace. 

The blond was finally _still_ beneath him, was patient, getting what he wanted. It took everything Alec had not to just slam home all the way because pleasure, it seemed, was stunningly addictive. A little bit then required more, more, _more_ and his whole body was alight with a kind of need he'd never known. The need to _fuck_ , the need to push inside and fuck Jace until he screamed, until he spasmed around his cock and came and maybe not even stop then, maybe never stop.

'Oh God,' he uttered, nothing else he could say. Jace's body was tight, hot and so fucking _wet_ it made his eyes cross as that most pleasurable organ, that part of Alec was sucked deep inside. 'Oh my God, Jace.'

'Does it feel good?' Jace asked, like he knew the answer, something shining in his half lidded eyes, mismatched and unforgettable.

Alec babbled affirmatively, eyes screwing tight as he focused on not _coming_ like a fucking teenager because every inch of slip-slide friction was sorely testing him. When he bottomed out, rolling tremors ran rampant through his body, throat bobbing reflexively, eyes fluttering.

It was the happiest in his own skin he had ever felt. It was the _best_ he'd ever felt and he tried not to think about the fact that it was because he was inside someone _else_.

'You're inside me,' Jace said, like he could read his fucking mind. He brought Alec down for a kiss, trembling thing that treated Alec like spun glass, the gentlest and yet somehow _sluttiest_ kiss of all time as Jace hovered his lips over Alec's, feather light touch, and extended his tongue, licking at Alec's own until he did the same. It was reasonably obscene and lovingly filthy and Alec didn't realise his mind could be blown from a _barely there_ kiss, yet it was fucking happening.

But something else was happening too as he adjusted to being fully inside the other man, something inside him was starting to _pull_ inward, was starting to hurt and he needed to move, he _needed_ it like he needed air.

He cradled Jace's face in both hands, staring down at him, blinking to form focus. In a wrecked voice, he asked, 'Can I?'

Jace let out a tiny little laugh, just a single breath of muted, bittersweet astonishment that Alec had asked and then he _clenched_ around Alec. The sensation had Alec's eyes rolling back, mouth falling open, punched out breath that ended in a deep, guttural groan.

'Fuck me,' Jace bade, but what Alec heard was _love me._

And so he did.

Alec carefully drew his hips back a couple of inches and then _pushed_ inside. The rolling friction warmed his bones, tightening his insides and pleasure, that sweet and sour cramping sensation in his nerve endings, began to bleed steadily into him.

'Oh _god_ ,' he grunted as he did it again. 'Jace, you feel—so— _fuck_!'

Jace started rolling his hips, started pushing down, meeting each carefully shallow thrust, still unbearably measured because he would _die_ before he hurt Jace, even if he didn't understand why. Alec wasn't a good person, not really. He'd killed Mundanes and monsters alike. He was indiscriminate about ending evil doers and he took pleasure in it. He was not the kind to care without a reason. Alec was shut off, had been for a long time; heart closed to anyone but his strong, bulletproof sister.

Yet with every thrust inside Jace, he could feel it all falling away. Years of carefully crafted armour, construct designed by a boy who would not permit himself to feel small, not again. Masterful facade of indifference that had never failed him until it was _failing_ , until he was stripped and naked and _inside_ someone, inside Jace.

'Yes, so good,' Jace praised, squeezing again and Alec cried out that time, whole body shudder running through him like a muted shockwave, tectonic shift in his core every time Jace did that and he was almost _afraid_ of what it would feel like to come. To come inside Jace, to fill him up, to make him his, to _own him_ , even though he knew, bone deep, that no one could ever truly own Jace. 'Make me yours, make me safe.'

Jace Herondale was a wild thing, too beautiful, too strong to ever truly be caged and Alec just _knew_ it, same way he knew it was pitch black outside now in the middle of the day, even if he didn't know _why_.

It was a constant litany of filthy sounds now, emotion tearing through each one and by the time Alec started fucking Jace in earnest, he felt like he might actually die from this. That his heart might truly give out. It was so far beyond _too much_ that he wanted to laugh. Jace's body was _made_ for him, he could feel it. They fit together like puzzle pieces, like a broken object, fractured down the centre and lost over time, misshapen and blunted by the world, but at their core, they fit together because they were _meant_ to.

Alec didn't realise he was saying all this aloud until Jace kissed him like he couldn't stand it anymore. Sealed their lips together and tongue fucked him as surely as Alec was fucking him.

And he was _fucking_ him now; wild, animalistic slaps of skin, grunting and groaning each time his cock slammed home into Jace's hot, tight clutch, friction spilling into frissons of pleasure that ran _riot_ through Alec, stripped away more of his control each time until he was a slave to it, that rhythm. Until he was _pounding_ Jace hard enough to break the bed and Alec wanted to, he wanted to break it, break everything except the beautiful man beneath him, stretched around him.

One of them was crying again, but it didn't feel wrong, it felt _beautiful._ Alec only realised it was him when Jace dragged his tongue up his cheek, licking the salt clean away.

Alec couldn't pretend he didn't hear what Jace was saying now, all the soft spoken little words in between breaths, all the _things_ he was telling Alec. He couldn't shut it out and it turned his bones to molten fucking _gold_ , made him want to scream because no one had ever burrowed this deep into Alec, _no one_ , and he knew he would never be free of it.

He was fucking Jace so hard it almost _hurt_ now, hurt Alec's lower back, thighs absolutely screaming in numb agony but he still hadn't come yet and for that, he deserved medals. He deserved fucking parades in his honour. He mouthed along Jace's jaw, nosing his cheek and gently biting the soft stubble he found there.

It was like being sucked into a riptide. The second his lips touched the underside of Jace's jaw, he realised he wanted nothing more in the _world_ than to suck the skin of Jace's neck, to suck welts and marks, oh God, to _mark him_ , yes.

Jace clawed down his back, turning his head to expose his neck.

'Do it, do it,' he pleaded brokenly. 'Make me come and bite your mark into me, please, oh _please!'_

Sanity in tatters, body on the verge of expelling his very soul through his cock, Alec began to suck love bites down the expanse of pale skin, running into a scar every now and then; a raised ridge, neatly healed, but telling tales of pain, nonetheless. At the curve where Jace's neck met his shoulder, Alec hesitated. This was going to _mean something_ , he acknowledged vaguely. Something permanent, something similar to all the scars he'd dragged his lips and tongue over.

Fucking Jace hard enough to break bone at this point, he didn't understand how he could _hesitate_ to do anything, but words bubbled up past the constant stream of panting, whining, whorish groans and _again_ , he choked out, 'Can I?'

Jace tangled one hand in his hair and crushed him where he wanted him, squeezing again, pressing Alec's mouth over that perfect spot, the place where it _needed_ a mark. _Mine, all mine, mine, don't you touch him,_ that mark would say.

' _Please_ ,' Jace begged. 'Mark me, make it hurt, own me!'

Alec sucked a deep bruise into the skin and as his whole body began to contract and draw down in agonising anticipation, he fitted his teeth over what he knew would be a dark, delicious mark and then he _bit_.

He sank his teeth into Jace's skin, over the curvature that seemed made for his mouth and he bit his ownership into him. Jace's entire body arched up, pushing Alec impossibly deep inside him and he was _rigid_ as he came. The sound he made ran up his throat and Alec felt the vibrations of that scream as he bit him until he tasted metal and in that metal, it was all _love_ , it was _salt_ and _sanity,_ seeping away. It was a metallic _smack_ on his tongue and the feeling of Jace clenching around him in bliss caused everything inside him to _explode._

A great and terrible light ruptured from within, setting fire to every nerve ending, causing his bones to bend and it was far, far too much for anyone to endure. He threw his head back, made a sound that he couldn't even hear, but he knew it was wild, unhinged because that was how he _felt_. He came so hard that it _hurt_ , felt like his cock was swelling and pulsing and he supposed it was. He flooded Jace, smashing it deep inside him and he couldn't take another second of it without Jace's tongue on his own, so he crashed their mouths together and kissed the blond through it all.

Kissed him with the taste of blood _again_ , only this time, it was Jace's and it was delicious; sea salt and honey, sweet and earthy and Alec would never _, never_ be the same again. Jace kissed him like he loved him and Alec could not doubt it then, tangled together, come and blood between them and so much fucking _love_ that it made the word seem ridiculous, ineffective.

He pushed himself as deep as he could go into Jace one last time and then he felt the desire to heavily and fully collapse, almost losing consciousness, but not before he eased Jace's knees off his shoulders, lay them down gently, letting the kiss turn soft, languid, though no less deep. He was drowning in Jace and he loved every moment of it.

Jace's hands moved gently over his back, fingertips stroking him and drawing on his skin, hyper sensitive little touches that made Alec smile as if being tickled. He smiled against Jace's lips and felt the man beneath him do the same.

'Oh my God,' he breathed, finally breaking the kiss and carefully, considerately pulling out. It felt like he'd left a piece of himself in there, inside Jace, and he would never ever get that back.

He hadn't _lost_ his virginity, he realised. He'd _given_ it. He'd given Jace something, though he couldn't put a finger on what.

They shuffled bonelessly, awkwardly until Alec's back hit the mattress and it was… _shit_ , it was still dark outside, but oh well. Eclipse's happened, didn't they?

Instead of Jace flopping over his chest, he laid on Alec's arm, turned on his side and Alec mirrored him helplessly. Nose to nose, Alec whispered something that would be very hard to _deny_ or even _accept_ later on but he didn't care. It was true in the moment and the moment was all that mattered.

'I love you too,' Jace promised sleepily, linking their fingers with a soft, happy sigh. 'Master Alec.'

*


	6. Lesson Six: Recognising The Problem Is NOT Always Helpful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agh, I'm sorry this wasn't up sooner, I've had a terrible time lately and then I got (and still am) really sick but I hope you guys enjoy and thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all the amazing comments. Thank you so much.

It didn't surprise Alec that Jace wanted to shower with him, that he wanted to be close and follow him. What surprised him was how much _he_ wanted it himself. How the very idea of distance between them seemed inherently wrong. In the decent sized shower it was still a squeeze with two fully grown men and Alec laughed openly, _light-heartedly_ when Jace accidentally elbowed him in the chin.

He took gentle hold of the blond’s face, soapy suds and warm wet skin beneath his palms and kissed him while still caught in the latter vestiges of that laughter, of that beautiful feeling. Jace relaxed quickly, but it still made Alec sad deep down that he'd worried at all.

'I will never hurt you,' Alec promised, pressing Jace into the glass just enough to provide slippery friction, but it was just to be close, not for anything else.

He kissed him deeper then, strengthened by an elevated state of mind that promised everything was fine, everything was _perfect._

They washed and dried off. Alec dressed in casual gear and offered Jace the same.

'Only if you want,' he said, lacing up his black boots.

'You're asking me to come with you,' Jace said looking down at the leather straps, at the clothing best suited to killing evil things.

'I'm _offering_ ,' Alec corrected patiently. 'I need to check in at the Institute and I'd feel better knowing you were with me, _but_ ,' he added. 'You are equally welcome to stay here. Or go out for a walk, do whatever you like.'

Jace fiddled with the buckle of the belt, uncertain for the first time since Alec had laid him down on his bed.

'I don't—can you _tell_ me? What you want me to do, I mean. Tell me what to do, please, Master Alec,' he added in a much softer voice, far quieter.

Alec finished up and looked outside. It was still dark.

'Our deal stands? If I ask you to do something that hurts or upsets you, you'll tell me?'

'Yes, Master, I promise.'

'Then,' Alec said, rising to stand. 'I want you to come with me, Jace. I can't stand the idea of you being here alone.' _Without me_ , he did not say, but it burned inside him. Distance unthinkable, separation unbearable. 'I'll protect you, keep you safe.'

Jace looked up, expression relaxing, easy little smile born of comfort coming into play. 'I know you will. Would you show me how to wear this outfit, Master Alec? I've never worn anything like it before.'

'Of course.'

Alec dressed him, strapped him in tight and safe within the confines of well-worn leather. He and Jace were very nearly the same size and only the leather trousers were too long by an inch or two. Everything else fit beautifully. Alec closed the clasps, throat bobbing, the motion of _dressing_ Jace was shockingly intimate. This close without need to take, without loss of focus from feverish lust, he noticed a dozen tiny things about Jace. The precise shade of his hair, the soft supple feel of his skin. The way he breathed, the scent of him when calm.

It hadn't happened yet, the enormous freak out he'd expected. Alec felt centred, shockingly so. He felt secure and happy, alert and balanced. _Balance_ was something that had eluded him all his life but he felt it there with Jace, tightening him into his spare set of Nephilim gear. It was worn and some of the material was frayed in places. Leather patched over, evidence of close calls. Jace was steady and pliant.

'Do you like this?' Alec asked, swallowing fractionally.

'Yes.'

'What do you like?'

'I like you dressing me. I like the feel of you close to me, of you choosing how I look.'

Alec zipped up the front, snapped shut the final few clasps, lifting his gaze to Jace's, finding the blond's own waiting. Watching with unconcealed intensity, staring without the slightest hint of insecurity.

'Are you still in love with me?'

It took Alec a moment to realise that Jace had asked _him_ that, not the other way around because he'd just been about to say such a thing, make a tiny little joke of it to recuse himself from the jarringly emotional moment, from falling into someone's personal space and realising it wasn't easy to move _away_.

He blinked and took a short breath. 'I—yeah, I am, actually.'

Jace was inscrutable. 'You're sure?'

Alec searched himself, found a stunning lack of _panic_ or _regret_ but he also found that to answer affirmative required no deception.

'I'm still in love with you, crazy motherfucker,' he said, grinning wryly, pulling Jace in for another kiss, wondering if he would ever _not_ want to kiss him. 'What about you?'

'I love you completely,' Jace promised into the kiss. 'I'm yours, always.'

'Call me Alec,' the dark haired man whispered against his lips. 'When we're in front of others.' He drew away, kissing his nose, his forehead before resting his own there, moving Jace's hand to his chest and pressing it over his heart. 'I'll know what you mean when you say it.'

Jace's arms were strong when they encircled Alec's waist, just holding one another in the moments before they left their bubble of safety.

When Jace drew back a little, he brushed Alec's hair away and said, 'You're amazing.'

'Don't start all that,' Alec warned playfully and if he'd never felt like this, this _playful_ in his whole life, that didn't matter, did it? Izzy was always telling him to relax more, to take more chances to be happy. 'I don't know if I can manage another go.'

'You _could_ ,' Jace told him, silky servile confidence shifting into an undeniably _cheeky_ challenge. 'If you really loved me, you could.'

And despite it all, despite having come a _stupid_ amount of times already, he could feel something in his lower regions stirring in response to Jace's words, to the feel of him against him.

'But,' the blond reasoned moving _away_ , instead squeezing Alec's hand briefly, cocking his mouth in a tantalisingly _bad_ little smirk. 'I suppose it'll have to wait until later. Until you can bring me home, tie me down and prove to me how _much_ you love me, hmm?'

Alec's mouth fell open in a little _O_ of indignant thrill. Jace had called the place _home_ and it made Alec all warm.

'Oh, it's like that, is it?'

Jace smirked, glancing at the weapons chest. He didn't say anything, waited patiently instead.

Alec gestured towards it, said, 'Take whatever you like. We can go incognito on the way there so Mundanes don't see.'

'Will you help me choose?'

Alec smiled.

*

There came a niggling sensation of _Something Might Be Kind Of Wrong_ when they stepped outside and saw that the sun had almost fully righted itself from the weird eclipse. Jace looked…

Well, shit, he looked fucking _gorgeous._ Leather complimented him beyond what Alec could have imagined and suited up, he looked so much more dangerous.

The journey there was short and Alec lived nearby for that exact purpose, even though he liked his own space. He checked on Jace frequently, but so long as the blond stayed close, he seemed well enough.

'You all right?' Alec would check and Jace would just smile, like they'd been friends forever.

Outside, away from the contained bubble of the apartment, Alec wondered if _now_ he would start to feel the slow decline of… whatever it was he'd been well in the throes of earlier. He wondered if now he might start to horribly regret being so _forward_ , saying those highly forbidden three words to someone he barely knew.

But he didn't. There was no regret, nothing inside that demanded distance from Jace, quite the fucking opposite.

He did study Jace, though. He took the opportunity to look at him, out and about. To catch him unawares, unguarded moments that showed how alert and wary Jace was. He moved with confidence and he stayed on Alec's right, never moving from that side, even if it meant he had to shove into a few Mundanes now and then which he no doubt took some small pleasure in, judging by the little smirk Alec caught.

Two occasions had seen Jace draw Alec back by the hand; either when someone was running towards them, or when a cab came barrelling out of _nowhere_ and Alec, yeah OK, maybe he was a little distracted staring at Jace.

The blond saved his life effortlessly, at least once.

'Watch where you're going, Alec,' he warned softly, adoration very much present in his otherwise watchful, even gaze. He said _Alec_ with that subtle inflection and the taller man knew exactly what he meant.

Jace only hesitated a moment before they went inside the Institute; great, obscured building that he looked up at with what might have passed for wonder in anyone else, but in Jace, it meant he was assessing, impressed perhaps.

' _There_ you are, I was—you brought him,' Izzy said, cutting off when she noticed Jace. She gave him a quick up and down, nodding to herself. 'OK, well. Clothes are a big improvement. At least you had the sense to come here,' she added, looking back at Alec.

This was her Institute, his brilliant sister's. She ran it efficiently and without hubris, but her reign was total and she took zero bullshit from anyone. The remaining Lightwoods were not to be fucked with.

Well, unless you were a stunning blond. Then, apparently, one had free reign.

Alec followed her to the command centre and he saw two others that he greeted with a tight nod. One of them was High Warlock Magnus Bane who deigned to help out sometimes and was rarely kind enough not to mention their one time disastrous date. The other was a run of the mill vampire who'd somehow befriended Raphael and acted as ambassador, due to his rather stunning ability to be the most non-threatening vampire in existence.

Magnus's gaze roamed over Jace and Alec _barely_ quashed the urge to throw himself in front of the blond, bodyguard style.

'Ooh,' the warlock commented, cat eyes flashing with curiosity. 'Who do we have here?'

Alec was _stony_ , oh yes. He was a silent sentinel force to be reckoned with. He was—

'He's mine.'

Izzy sighed, knuckled her forehead. Simon Lewis's stupid vampire eyes went wide and he bit his lips into his mouth while Magnus just stared, gaze moving between Alec and Jace with patent interest, mouth curving.

'My _friend,'_ Alec tried to correct stoically. 'He's my friend, that's—yeah. This is Jace. Jace, this is Magnus Bane, warlock. Simon Lewis, vampire.'

Simon offered his hand which Jace studied suspiciously for a moment before briefly shaking it.

'I also collect Pop Vinyl’s and enjoy contributing to mediocre wuss rock in my spare time.'

Alec rolled his eyes, far less angry at himself for the slip than he should be. Alec of _yesterday_ would be spluttering, red faced. As it was, Alec barely had time to worry about it. He was too busy _not liking_ the handshake between that vampire and his Jace.

'Hello,' Jace offered, but it was all business. He stayed by Alec's right, hadn't really moved from there since they left the apartment.

'Well,' Magnus said, once more the master of irritating smugness. 'Isn't this interesting.'

'Not really,' Alec dismissed, looking at his sister. 'Why are they here?'

Her frown intensified. 'Because of the eclipse.'

'Oh, was that… a _thing_? Not a normal, nature-induced kinda thing?'

'No,' Simon informed him. 'It was a "W _hoa, what the fuck?"_ kind of thing.'

' _Magically_ induced,' Magnus added, tilting his head and walking slowly around the command table, gaze riveted on Jace. The blond bore it with apparent ease, did not seem to mind being _appraised_ or gawked at by nosey, know-it-all warlocks. 'It's caused quite the ripple effect.'

'Why didn't you call me?'

Izzy squinted at him. 'Because it's knocked out the fucking cell towers, you _twat_. Did you—are you not _aware_ that shit is happening?'

Alec recovered fast. 'I'm here, aren't I?'

Magnus was almost fully behind Jace, fingers caressing his chin when he asked, quite _silkily,_ 'Where are you from, Jace?'

'All over,' Jace replied, positively breezy. Alec wished he could be breezy.

'Such as?'

'I'm sorry, can we get back to the magical shit, please? What's happened with the cell towers? Why are the…' Alec gestured irritably between Magnus and Simon. 'Infernal fucking duo here?'

'Is it just me,' Magnus mused aloud, continuing to circle Alec and Jace. 'Or is your _scowl_ slightly more _scowly,_ Alexander _?'_

'Yeah, you do seem kinda more aggressive,' Simon observed helpfully. 'Tightly wound.'

'Among other things,' Magnus purred coming full circle at last. His interest was mostly on Jace. 'Where are you _from_ , little Nephilim? I've never seen you before and believe me, I've seen you _all_ before, but you bear a resemblance to someone I once knew. Are you,' he returned to the command desk, pressing the fingertips of one hand to the currently flat surface. 'Perhaps a Herondale?'

Jace's non-reaction was a true thing of beauty, not least for how it made Alec appreciate how much Jace _let_ him see when they were alone. The blond was a sheer wall of impregnable _nothingness_ and it was impressive to witness.

'But that can't be,' Magnus went on, clearly enjoying the sound of his own voice. 'Because the last of the Herondale's died out with Imogen two years past. Still, you have the _look_.'

Alec didn't let the question hang any longer. 'He's with me,' was all he said, staring at Magnus in what he hoped was clear and present warning not to fuck around any longer.

'Well, I for one was sent here to assure the _stab-first, question-later Lightwood_ siblings that we lowly vampires had _nothing_ to do with the eclipse. Vampires and sun, y'know. I just wanted to make it _real_ clear that it wasn't us. Plus, the phones were down so, yeah. Crisis averted by the world's best un-dead ambassador!' Simon finished brightly.

'Did you feel anything?' Alec asked.

'All Downworlders felt it,' Magnus filled in smoothly.

'What was it, then?'

'My closest understanding of it was an enormous shift of power. Think of it like an earthquake in response to the rumble of tectonic plates. Something serious has been dropped into the magical atmosphere.' He let his formal tone drop away, returning to eyeing Jace with naked curiosity. 'So… boyfriend? I thought you didn't _do_ those.'

Isabelle made a low sound of mild irritation.

'Demonic activity?' Alec pushed on, ignoring Magnus which was probably not a great idea as the showy warlock had a tendency to take lack of attention rather personally.

His sister nodded and finally activated the 3D hover system. 'Huge spikes all around the Leylines and in key points right here. We're still analysing, but,' she hesitated. 'The origin of the shift definitely came from Manhattan.'

Jace adjusted his stance _oh so_ subtly. 'So it was a… New York only eclipse?' Alec asked stupidly, but he couldn't think of any other way to put it.

'The darkness you saw was indeed, not caused by the moon,' Magnus confirmed generously. 'It was an intense mass gathering in the sky, a thickening of cloud and magics which formed a kind of _dome_ over the entire island.'

'How long did it last?'

'Ten minutes, best estimate,' Izzy said. 'Whatever it was, it was big.'

'Is it gone now?'

'The shift has calmed, yes. The dust has settled or the ripples have fallen still, whichever metaphor you're more comfortable with.' Magnus gave Jace another curious look before his golden catlike eyes moved back to Alec. 'You're not going to tell me where this _friend_ emanated from, no? A Nephilim I've never clapped eyes on, never heard of before, just appears out of thin air the same day as the skies blacken and something vast shifts in the magical realms and… what? He's from _all over?'_

'Hey,' Simon reasoned quietly. 'Why don't we cut the guy some slack?'

But Magnus didn't seem able to let it go.

'I think,' he said, soft with playful malice and Alec's shoulders rounded helplessly. 'That your new _friend_ has something to do with the blackout. I also think if I tried to touch you, he might kill me.'

The last was said with a chuckle, a slanted brow that spoke of a challenge. It made anticipation prickle in a very bad way up Alec's spine because he _knew_ exactly what would happen if Magnus tried to touch him in a way Alec didn't want.

_Bad, bad way_ that had his blood running hot.

Simon glanced at him with a subtle little frown and Alec shook it the fuck off, turning to Izzy for help.

And furious though she would no doubt be later, might have been there and then, she was still his sister.

'Magnus, I would appreciate you keeping an ear to the ground,' she said. 'For now, all we can do is monitor the levels for any further fluxes. Thank you so much for coming in.'

Well,' he said pleasantly, gaze flicking to Jace again, smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. 'My pleasure, as always, young Isabelle. Lovely to meet you, Jace.'

He dropped a wink and sauntered out, as was his way. Alec didn't let himself relax until he was gone and even then, only a tiny bit.

'Your friend?' Jace asked very quietly.

'I didn't know what else to say,' Alec admitted, hand shaking very slightly when he ran it through his hair. He looked at Jace then, found strength and _gravity_ in those eyes, felt more centred somehow. 'He caught me off-guard, I didn't know what to tell him without just blurting it all out, I'm sorry. I didn’t _mean_ to say you were my friend.'

Jace's lips parted. 'I meant… was he _your_ friend?'

'Oh.' Alec stared at the door. The fuck was _wrong_ with him, seriously? 'Yeah, no. We're not friends. He helps out and he's OK, but we're not friends. Not really.'

The blond nodded and looked away. Simon was politely not staring. Izzy was most definitely staring and there was nothing polite about it.

'Uh,' Simon said, rubbing the back of his neck. 'I should get back, I suppose,' he said, shooting Isabelle a smile. Alec knew the vampire _liked_ her and that sometimes, they hooked up. It was as friendly as Izzy got with anyone. 'Keep me updated?'

'Course,' Izzy said, offering a tight smile in return. Alec didn't miss the way Simon grasped his sister's hand as he passed and then he too was gone. The look she gave him was wary, guarded almost. 'You fixed it?'

Izzy asked it like she had very little hope of him answering positively.

'It's… better now,' he settled for, fixing his attention on the table. 'We should go through the ID system, see who Jace can narrow down.'

'You don't think the eclipse is the bigger issue?'

'No,' he answered with a finality he didn't want to examine. 'You said yourself we can't do anything but monitor the situation and try to track down where the _shift_ or whatever the fuck emanated from. So far,' he added, feeling that he was on firmer ground there. 'We've not seen a spate of attacks, right? No sudden uptick in demonic activity?'

Izzy nodded demurely. 'No, aside from the skies going black, but that was barely an hour ago.'

'So yeah, let's monitor. Jace, come on. We can go through the ID's.'

Jace nodded, fell into step with Alec and off they went.

*

The blond identified five people on the system. All were extremely low level, save for one, a man named Kellion Raynemire who'd been part of Valentine's inner circle and was presumed dead. Jace explained that he'd faked his death right after Valentine's, that he'd been one of the main people to begin using Jace to attempt the ritual.

'That's really useful,' Alec told him, placing his hand over Jace's, thumb swiping his knuckles. Jace had gone rigid around the time he'd spoke Kellion's name and Alec wanted to reassure him. 'You did great.'

'Thank you, Alec.'

His throat worked, tiny bit nervous and they were all alone in Alec's old bedroom, computer at a desk which hadn't been used for a long time and had taken _ages_ to load.

Jace looked down. 'Did I… embarrass you? In front of that warlock?'

'No,' Alec said right away. 'I might have embarrassed _myself_ , but you… definitely not.'

'You two were together?'

Alec leaned back a little bit, pushed his chair away from the desk to see Jace better. 'We went on a date. It was… a disaster, really. I got called away to help Izzy out on a patrol and that was the best part of it. I don't know, we didn't click.'

'You're not attracted to him?'

_With you in the room?_ he almost said, but did not. 'No. I'm not attracted to him.'

Jace nodded, but he was still looking down. Alec smiled gently, tipped his chin up to bring those lovely eyes to his.

'I only want you,' he said honestly, unable to find the basis of what was required to feel insecure about it. 'So long as you want me, Jace, you're all I—'

Jace climbed into his lap so fast it sent the chair skittering back on its wheels. He wrapped himself around Alec then, the way that he liked to, lips pressed to the side of Alec's throat.

'I know you think when you kill these guys, I'm gonna wanna leave or whatever,' he whispered, so very _American_ , so very true. 'But I'm not, I swear. I only want to be here with you, always. Always, always, always. I've never had this, never been happy. Please don't make me leave when you think it's safe.'

Alec wound his arms around the other man's back, one hand gliding up into his hair as warring feelings began to rip at his heart.

'You might _want_ to leave,' he reasoned. 'I want what you want, right?'

'So, it's…' Jace paused, trembling breath moving over Alec's skin. 'My choice? I can stay if I want?'

'If you choose that, of course.'

'Oh,' he said in a breathy exhale. 'Oh, OK. I'm sorry.' He pulled back, Alec's hand cupping the back of his skull. 'I was worried.'

Throat a little thicker than he'd have liked, Alec said, 'I don't think I could ever make you leave my side if it wasn't what you wanted.' He frowned then. 'Couldn't do anything you didn't want.'

Jace's expression washed clean of the worry and stress, surprise rendering him strangely young. 'It's… so weird to hear someone say that.'

Alec stroked his face with the backs of his fingertips, the air turning warm between them, Jace's weight upon him making him feel a hundred things all at once. 'Can I kiss you?'

'You don't have to ask. I _always_ want you to kiss me.' Jace brought their lips close, but didn't kiss him, not yet. 'You never have to ask, because I'm _yours_ , Master Alec,' he whispered, voice low and silky, like satin wrapped sin and oh God, Alec really needed to lay off the stamina runes because his cock was stirring _yet_ again, pulse speeding up, breath coming faster. 'I belong to you.'

Alec made a tiny noise, a little moan. 'You're too fucking magnificent to ever truly belong to anyone, Jace. You're—fuck, just look at you.' He shook his head, drinking in the sight of the leather clad blond atop him. 'You're beautiful. So, _so_ beautiful.'

'And I'm yours regardless,' Jace promised, tongue teasing Alec's bottom lip as he pressed closer, harder, cinching them together so there was barely any space between them and Alec _wanted_ them close like that forever. 'I've always been yours.'

It punched Alec's breath out, winded him almost. 'Fuck, Jace.'

Curling tighter around him, hands sliding into his hair to _pull_ and play, to inflict that small measure of dominance all the while submitting, Jace licked into Alec's mouth, teasing at first before Alec's patience sort of _broke_ and he mashed their mouths together, picked up Jace under the thighs and lifted him them both off the chair.

His cold, neatly made bed had not been slept in for years and had never seen any action beyond Alec and his own hand but it was about to get broken the fuck _in_ because this man, this cocky, lethal kid was Alec's _undoing_ and he was helpless. Helpless in the wake of his desire.

'I'm still wet and open from earlier,' he panted against the shell of Alec's ear, grinding himself against the taller man. 'I want you to fuck me like an animal, fuck me wild and raw.'

Alec crashed them both down on the bed, unholy crack from beneath that would, in any other circumstance, have made him _laugh_ because it was an old bed, not made for aggressive sex. He couldn't fathom laughing just then, however.

'Fuck,' he grunted as Jace's clever hands slipped past his waistband. 'How—how much sex can one person have in a day, seriously— _ahhh_ fuck, Jace!'

The blond was doing wholly illegal things, dragging his fingernails teasingly up and down the velvet skin, over the hard length; strange blend of _sharp friction_ that had Alec's nervous system ringing in his ears, like a cat being rubbed the wrong way but oh… _oh_ , it was a very good kind of wrong.

'You like that?'

'Do it again,' Alec panted raggedly, eyes crossing when the blond did as he was told. Oh _fucking God._ He let slip an embarrassingly loud whine, entire body rolling with weirdly specific pleasure. 'Yes, fuck, ohhh my— _shit_!'

Jace hummed, kissed Alec deeply. 'Do you like that I'm strong?'

Alec nodded.

'And yet, you own me anyway. You could command anything and I'd do it, you know that?'

It was definitely a bit _wrong_ how that made Alec's cock twitch.

'But you give me all this freedom,' Jace went on, pulling Alec's hair to the side, exposing his throat as he dragged a hot, wet stripe up it. 'All this _power.'_

_'_ You _are_ powerful,' Alec blurted out, not even really knowing why he'd said it, except it felt completely, painfully true. 'You—fuck, I know you want me to own you Jace, and I will, I _do,_ but you… you own me too.'

Jace stared up at him, something shifting behind those mismatched eyes. 'Do you mean that?'

'Yes,' Alec promised, emotions painfully raw just then, Jace's hand on his hard flesh, wanting and needing anything this creature would give him. 'You fucking _own_ me too, Jace. My Jace, my beautiful, perfect Jace, God.' It wasn't quite _guilt_ , not quite regret, but whatever it was Alec saw, he didn't like it. 'It's OK, though, right?' he pressed, feeling strangely _distressed_ at the way Jace seemed suddenly sad. 'We can… own each other?'

Jace nodded, lips firmly sealed and before Alec could say anything else, the pretty blond pushed up, flipped and reversed their positions.

'Just so long as you remember,' Jace said, pulling off his t-shirt _(Alec's t-shirt)_ to reveal his gorgeous, glorious chest, all strewn with marks, with scars and precious few runes. Fuck, but Alec wanted to draw them all over him, wanted to make him safe with the magic in their blood, show him what it was to be _Nephilim._ A part of him quietly yearned to see Jace in action, to see him _kill things_ , though he was smart enough not to examine that too closely. 'That you own me first and foremost, yes?'

The clip in his accent was back and somehow… he seemed further away. Alec felt almost like a child reaching for their parent's hand, only to be denied. It was shockingly strange, to realise that Jace could _compartmentalise_ , could shut down. He didn't know why it was shocking, someone who'd been through even a small percentage of what Jace had endured would likely have a broad range of survival skills, but he just…

He didn't want Jace to need them with _him_.

The blond shifted, making short work of getting Alec's pants down around his thighs and then his own, enough to straddle, but nothing more. Alec wanted them flush and naked, skin to skin, nothing between them but there was most definitely _something_ and it was not the clothes.

He didn't get the chance to form words, of course, because Jace pushed up, aligned the head of Alec's apparently _immortal_ cock to his entrance, hot and still… oh Jesus fucking Christ, still _wet_ from earlier.

_Your come has been slowly leaking out of him this whole time,_ a voice in the darker regions of his mind whispered and his eyes rolled all the way back when Jace sank down, in one slow, fluid motion until he bottomed out all the way.

Jace groaned, deep and guttural, Alec's hands on his hips, grasping what bare skin he could find, moving up his sides.

'Fuck, you're so deep,' the blond grit out. 'I can— _fuck_.'

'Tell me,' Alec gasped because he was a greedy little slut and he wanted to fucking _hear it._

'I can feel you so deep inside me, it's like—like you're in my _throat_.'

'Fuck yourself on me,' Alec told him, caressing his hips, kneading the skin as he fought the urge to thrust up into that tight, hot clutch. 'So good, so perfect, look at you.'

'Am I good for you, Master?'

'You know you are.'

_'Tell me.'_

Oh yes, pushy Jace, _bratty_ Jace, fuck yes.

'You're so good for me.'

'Am I your good boy?'

Alec made another noise he didn't realise he could make, this time a wild cross between a groan and a humming sound as he bit his lips hard. Jace had this _power_ over him with words, he just did, there was no denying it.

'Tell me I'm your good boy,' Jace said, lowering himself to lean on the bed, slowly raising his hips up and down just a fraction. His lips were close to Alec's ear when he whispered, ' _Daddy.'_

Alec nearly came there and then; realised he actually _could_ come from such a thing and boy, howdy, that was _new_. It was all so fucking _new_.

Still he couldn't say it, desperate need curling tightly around his lungs, trapping him, drowning him in the millions of things he _wanted_ but had never once voiced and yet… Jace seemed to know them, seemed to _know_ so much.

Jace caged him in with his arms, straddling Alec with his solid weight, ass tight around his cock and when Alec was silent for too long, Jace clenched around him in playful warning.

'Fucking _hell_ , Jace—'

'Am I your good boy, Daddy?' he whispered, this time licking a semi-circle around the curve of Alec's jaw and _Jesus Christ_ , this kid was going to _kill him_ , but there were worse ways to die.

'I—I can't,' Alec panted, eyes squeezing tight shut, chest too hot, everything messed up inside. 'I—it’s wrong, you've been hurt so much, I—'

Jace lightly slapped his face. It was teasing, gentle, the kind of sting that resonated the same way as when Jace had slapped his ass. There was an aura of control about Jace as he reared back, surveying Alec.

'Do you think anybody ever stopped to ask what I wanted?' he demanded breathlessly, starting to fuck himself, up and down, aching rhythm that was too slow for what Alec needed, but still blew his fucking mind. 'You think anyone ever loved me like you?'

'N-no, but—'

'I want what you want,' Jace reminded him, taking hold of Alec's wrists, pinning them down and hovering over him. 'I want _everything_ you want, no holding back.' Alec's body was gearing up to come, to explode inside Jace as if it was made to do that and little else. 'No holding back,' Jace said again. 'Do you trust me?'

'I—yes,' Alec panted, feeling like he was being cut open. 'Yes, I trust you.'

Jace's slick heat tightened as it moved down. 'Then trust that I will _tell you_ if I don't like something.'

'Oh God,' Alec choked, hips thrusting helplessly.

'I'm gonna give you everything, _everything_ ,' Jace promised. 'And you deserve it, _Daddy_.'

It was a whole-body thing, that _word._ It smashed through him like an aphrodisiac, like man-made desire running rampant. He didn't even understand it, just knew it tore him to pieces in the best possible way.

'Jace, I love you so much,' Alec panted, tears in his eyes.

'Then say I'm your good boy.'

He wanted to pull his wrists free, wanted to mash their mouths together and never, ever part because the blond was as much inside him as Alec was in _him_ then and it was irreversible, he could feel it. A tattoo, a brand, a bond. No going back.

'You're my good boy,' he told Jace and the blond's eyes fluttered, his back arched.

'Again.'

'You're my good, beautiful boy, _fuck_ , look at you,' Alec panted, face red, body burning like it probably would when he got to _hell_. 'Fuck yourself on Daddy.'

Jace let out a kind of breathy, triumphant _laugh_ , hands on Alec's chest now, bracing himself as he did exactly that. He was _stunning_ , wild with abandon, truly a vision as he threw his head back time and again, golden hair moving like the wings of an angel, mouth curved with pleasure, eyes closed as he drove Alec deeper and deeper inside his beautiful body.

'Make me come, Daddy,' he whined, louder than was probably advisable given that they were in Alec's ancestral home which was also the _New York Institute,_ best last hope to protect the world. 'Make me come on your cock, please.'

Alec sat up, wrapping his arms around Jace as he fucked him harder, thrusting up with everything he had, awkward position because they both still had leather pants on, but he was _inside_ Jace and the blond was tight and hot and calling him _Daddy_.

'Do you have any idea how much I fucking love you?'

Jace held his face, smiled dazedly, body moving with the force of each thrust. 'Show me.'

Alec _finally_ crushed their mouths together, felt like this way, he could truly meld them together as he fucked harder and _deeper_ and _faster_ into the other man; the man he'd have given anything for the honour of locking himself to with a Parabatai rune, to tie their souls and then break _all_ the rules.

_Too late, much too late for that,_ he knew, but it was OK, he could have this and that was more than fucking enough.

'Are you gonna come untouched for Daddy?' he muttered against Jace's lips, all swollen and red, sweat running down his temples.

'If you tell me to,' Jace whispered back. 'But you'd better put your hand over my mouth,' he warned, licking messily, _wantonly_ over Alec's lips. 'Cos I'm gonna fucking _scream.'_

It pushed Alec too far, sent him right over the edge, body spiralling higher and higher and then… _dropping_. Dropping into a thundering form of tightening, all the breath squeezed right out as white hot pleasure ripped through him, wiping him clean of anything that wasn't _love_.

He came explosively inside Jace, kept right on fucking him, mildly obsessed with the idea of _marking_ him from the inside all over again. Then he kissed Jace hard, _still_ fucking him before his orgasm even began to subside and moaned into his mouth, 'Come for Daddy.'

Jace went completely rigid, physical reaction to the words, to the _command_ that Alec could not get enough of and Jace made a sound that Alec smothered with a deep, consuming kiss, not using his hands to muffle those screams, drinking them down instead.

He kept on fucking him until Jace's scream tapered off into moans, into delectable whimpers and they were kissing properly, making out fully and aggressively, despite how his thighs burned and his cock was spent and raw. Alec couldn't help but pour himself into the kiss, every bit of emotion, of gratitude, of _love._ It was bittersweet, the sensation resonating like a need that could never be slaked with bodily desires.

'I love you so fucking much,' he breathed and Jace traced his fingers through the tracks of Alec's tears, tasting them before pressing a sweeter, salty kiss to his lips, soft and soothing. 'I _love_ you.'

Alec felt almost astonished how true it really was.

'I love you more,' Jace said and it sounded like a confession. No _Master_ , which somehow made it more _real_ and Alec keened, couldn't explain the feeling inside him then, crazy fucking thing that wanted to do insane shit like _propose_ to Jace, offer to run away with him, to give him everything and more because it had been no word of a lie, this kid, he _owned_ Alec, inside and out. 'I'd do anything for you, you know that?'

'I would too,' Alec promised, overeager and somewhat clumsy, but he didn't care. 'Anything.'

Jace leaned back a little, the daze clearing, smile forming. He swept Alec's hair back, fond and adoring.

'I don't deserve you.'

'You do, you deserve better, everything!'

Jace's smiled turned rueful, he shook his head and placed his fingers over Alec's lips. 'Shh. We should clean up, go report back to your sister.'

Outstanding logic that Alec only _somewhat_ resented.

'Yeah, you're right. That was—thank you. I never thought, I mean…'

He trailed off, unable to find the words but Jace seemed to understand, he understood _so much_.

'Never hold back with me,' he said, capturing Alec's gaze. 'Never.'

Alec nodded, tears in his eyes again though he didn't know _why_ , not really.

'Thank you.'

Jace kissed him once more, soft with finality. 'Now, let me clean you up.'

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have some revelations, I promise.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, drop me a comment, your support means the world.


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